Perhaps he had plans for today…

Perhaps he had plans for today... | Tyranny of Pink

I almost never post on a Saturday. Weekends are sacred family time for me – usually I’m not even at home long enough to type anything out but today, things are bugging me and I had to write.  Creative release as therapy and all that.

So, what’s bothering me?

Last night, we went to a friend’s birthday party. We left home at about 6.30pm, even though we were supposed to be there at 6pm but a little baby and being on time don’t always go together so well so we were late. About 3kms from my house there was an accident and the road was closed off.

In the road, was a person. Covered with one of those silver blanket things. A sign of a person who wasn’t waiting for paramedics, or being rushed off. The sign of a person, lying in the street. Dead.

I am fucking angry. I am disappointed with the world. I don’t know why but I am.

I see this person lying there, a biker. Yet another biker (second one I’ve seen dead in the space of two months) and I am angry. I am so mad for his family. Waiting at home, not knowing that he’s not coming home.

He’s never going to walk through the door. Perhaps he has children, perhaps he doesn’t. Perhaps they were waiting for him. Perhaps they weren’t. Perhaps he has a partner, perhaps he doesn’t. Perhaps they’ve started dinner. A meal that no one will eat.

Perhaps he had plans for today. Perhaps he was going out with his family for the day. Perhaps he was planning on staying in.

Instead, this weekend, his family will begin to grieve. They will have people coming around to see them. To sympathise with them. They will start planning his funeral. They will be sad and broken.

Instead of all the things he might have had planned, in a second, it all went away.

And I am angry for him, for his family, for his loved ones, for his dogs. I don’t know him or them or even if he had anyone that loved him. But I am angry at how quickly death comes.

Without notice, without warning. Without a chance to change things.

I am angry.

 

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9 Discussion to this post

  1. Sula says:

    So tragic and a terrible reminder of how short life is. For a long time I followed a blog ‘Chad Life Us’ written by the mother of a boy who died in a motorbike accident. Her pain and grief every day were still evident years after loosing her son (the blog has now been closed as private).

    • I think this hits home for me because not only was my father a biker but my 13 year old cousin was killed in a motorbike accident. It’s a tragic loss of life and usually bike accidents occur because of the lack of respect of other drivers for bike. I can imagine how raw her blog must have been. I think over the years watching my aunt grieve for her own child has been so hard on all of us. A parent shouldn’t outlive their child.

  2. Jadie Jones says:

    This is heartbreaking 💔 in the blink of an eye lives are changed forever. May God be with them

  3. Cassey says:

    Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg pillows to bash to help the anger get out.

  4. I am sending you so much love. This made me want to cry. It is because you know that feeling that it hits you so hard, why it is personal even though you do not know them. You know what it feels to be the one waiting, the one getting irritated as the time ticks passed and that person doesn’t arrive. It is because you are grieving far more people than anybody should ever have to grieve. Every time something else happens to you, I get angry for you. So somewhere in you, behind the endless strength and ability to see through to the other side, has to be a well of anger. Because you have overcome to much, have survived so much, have lost so much. I am glad that you get these bursts of anger at the world sometimes. I think it is healthy and needed. Love you too much friend xx

    • I cried when I read your comment the first time. I thought, I’ll come back and reply later but I cried again this time. I don’t know how but you manage to say things exactly how they are. You’re right, of course, it’s because I do know how it feels and I know what the years ahead have in store for them and this feeling isn’t something I’d wish on anyone. It’s awful and the climb to healed is never ending. Thank you for your never ending love and support and beautiful words. Your friendship means so very much to me. Always. Love you so much! xoxo

  5. Bonnie says:

    Heartbreaking for his family and terrible to witness 💔

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