Not everything said about you, is actually about you! 

not-everything-said-about-you-is-actually-about-you-tyranny-of-pink

I’ve been having a hard time with this lately. Well not lately but more just this week. In a power struggle of some sort, things were said about me behind my back by someone in a professional setting.

This person tried to create a wedge between me and another person to get their own way and their tactic was to question my integrity and lie about something I’d done.

I was devastated at first. I couldn’t believe someone could be so ugly about me. I’ve never done anything to them personally. I don’t even know them very well (except in a professional manner) and I certainly wasn’t guilty of the things they accused me of.

I couldn’t believe these things were said about me. I was horrified and I won’t lie. I cried over it.

Then I pulled myself together and reminded myself that this asshole’s opinion of me doesn’t matter and he is literally just a puppet being manipulated into getting what someone else wants and he is doing everything in his power to do so.

I felt instantly better. I know myself. I know what I’m capable of and I know for a fact that the shit that was said about me is so untrue.

So I felt sorry for him. Because a grown man who has to resort to ugly lies in order to do his job isn’t someone whose opinion I need to care about. Nope. All kinds of nope.

He tried to drive a wedge between us because he is an ugly person and that’s not about me. He spread lies about me because he doesn’t know how to do his job and THAT isn’t about me either. He is floundering in a pit of his own incompetence and that isn’t at all about me.

So I remind myself of what Buddha said:

“If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it to whom then does it belong?”  The man said, “Then it belongs to the person who offered it”  Buddha smiled, “That is correct.  So if I decline to accept your abuse does it not then still belong to you?”

and I hold my head high knowing full well, I don’t accept his gift!

If I refuse your abuse, does it not then belong to you? #QOTD Click To Tweet
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9 Discussion to this post

  1. Wow! I love the Buddha quote and the way you applied it to your situation. Good for you. Seriously you don’t need that negative energy.

  2. Bonnie says:

    Absolutely true. He is trying to push his incompetence onto you. It’s not about you at all. Big hugs xoxo

  3. Ella says:

    This is such a great post and it is so true. More often than not when people are horrible about you it’s not about you but about something else entirely! Hope whatever is going on passes quickly for you!

    Ella xx
    http://www.inellaselement.co.uk

    • Thanks Ella! It’s hard to remember this sometimes… but people who bully others are usually people who are miserable in their own lives. I’ve never met a successful person that I look up to, and who is happy with their life who puts others down! Big people know that being horrible isn’t the key to a good life. xoxo

  4. I so needed to read this today. I am experiencing a similar situation and I am on the brink of healing tears at the statement: “If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it to whom then does it belong?” The man said, “Then it belongs to the person who offered it” Buddha smiled, “That is correct. So if I decline to accept your abuse does it not then still belong to you?”

    Thank you!

    • Trisha, I am SO glad it helped you. This little excerpt has made me feel so much better today as well. It’s a wonderful thing to hold on to for moments like these! I hope your situation improves soon <3

  5. Shocked that anyone would do something like that to you.

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