Confidence starts within ourselves! Here’s how to build confidence in yourself!
Why is self-confidence important?
A lack of confidence in my own abilities is what single-handedly held me back from pursuing my dreams for far too long. I did not believe in myself or my abilities to achieve and I didn’t know how to build confidence in myself. One day, after coasting through life for far too long, I decided that it was time to stand up for myself and to put myself first.
I decided that I was capable and I knew that I had to prove that to myself and pursue my own dreams. It wasn’t an easy decision to make but I decided to quit my 9 – 5 job that was making me absolutely miserable and pursue a future as a writer. I tell you it wasn’t easy publishing that first blog post. For three months I blogged in secret but when December came around, I knew that this secret life could not go on. I made it my new years resolution to stand up and be proud of myself. When January rolled around, I registered my domain and launched Tyranny of Pink. I haven’t looked back since.
So why does having a belief in your own abilities matter? It matters because unless we are doing things that fulfil our purpose, we will always be wondering if there is more to life. We need to be confident in our abilities as human beings to achieve the goals we set for ourselves. Once we believe we can, we are more likely to set out to make those dreams, goals and plans a reality.
So in this light, it becomes clear that lacking confidence in ourselves and our capabilities has the potential to stifle the possibilities within us.Man often becomes what he believes himself to be - Mahatma Gandhi Click To Tweet
“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
How do you get more confident in your abilities?
Feeling more confident in yourself isn’t something that can be achieved over night. Of course not. It takes time and effort. It’s a slow process but it is infinitely rewarding. You have to start with changing the way you think about yourself, the way you perceive yourself and most importantly the way you treat yourself. You have to make the decision, to start living authentically and in line with your goals and purpose. It may sound cheesy but you really do have to believe in yourself.
Too often we bash ourselves without giving it a second thought. We knock ourselves and our abilities and we put ourselves down. When someone compliments us on our clothing we reply with “oh this old thing” instead of accepting the compliment and taking ownership of it. Self-love starts with you!
We have to change our mindset if we want to change the way we behave in this world. We need to start seeing ourselves through the same lens that those around us see us through. Instead of denying our talents, we need to embrace them. Pursue them even. Whole heartedly.
Three steps you can take on a daily basis towards a more confident you
Every day, we can make tiny adjustments to the way we see the world and the way we see ourselves located within the world. Instead of criticising ourselves, we need to take steps towards appreciating ourselves and our self-worth. Here are three habits you can form on a daily basis that will help you see yourself in a different light.
1. Make a list of your achievements and skills
Sit down one evening, or one morning, depending on what time of day you get a minute to yourself and create a list of all the things you have achieved and then add to that list the things you know you are really good at. Include the trivial and the important. So you got a college degree, fantastic, put that in there but don’t leave out that you make the best home-made bread. Put every skill you have down on paper and start taking ownership of your own life. Acknowledge the things you’re an expert in and people will start to see you for the expert that you are. Now put this list somewhere that you will easily be able to access it and read it every single morning or every night before you start going to bed. Constantly remind yourself of the things that make you unique and an asset to the world. Because you are!
2. Be kind to yourself
Start eliminating negative thoughts you have about yourself. If someone gives you a compliment, accept it! Stop seeing yourself as a failure and above all, stop thinking that you have nothing to offer. Look at that list you made before about your skills and accomplishments and remind yourself of your own value and self-worth. Start using kinder words to describe yourself. Instead of obsessing over how fat you are, appreciate the way you look in your favourite outfit. Instead of being so harsh on yourself because you aren’t great at doing your taxes, applaud yourself for being really great at pouring wine. Who doesn’t need that skill 😉 On a more serious note, remind yourself daily of the things that make you unique and wonderful. Ignore the voices in your head that are criticising your flaws. No one needs that kind of negative energy. Put the monster back in the cage.
3. Start believing in yourself
When you look at your accomplishments, they help you to have belief in yourself. When you list the things you’re good at, they help to remind you that you can’t be good at everything but you can be kick ass at somethings. Be great at the things you’re good at and don’t be ashamed at being an expert in what ever it is that you’re good at. Know that you can achieve great things if you just put your mind to it. You are fully capable of making things happen if you set your goals and create plans towards them. You have to believe in your own abilities because if you don’t believe in you, no one else can. Let self-doubt be eliminated from your daily practices. Start slowly, it doesn’t have to happen over night but bit by bit start letting go of the nagging beliefs that you’re not good enough. You may not be great at everything but you do many things like a boss. So go do those things. Let the passion inspire you.