“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela
This is a quote that I find myself repeating over and over again to myself throughout my life. It seems to have settled in my head as some sort of mantra. Life can be so terrifying.
You come up with an idea and it’s amazing. You write it down and you mind map and plan. You start a secret Pinterest board and pin all these amazing ideas to it (don’t tell me it’s just me who does this?). And after weeks and weeks, all you’ve done is plan. You’ve not made any moves towards actually getting it started.Don't be so afraid of failing that you don't even try #quoteoftheday Click To Tweet
Why is that?
Because you’re so bloody afraid.
You’re afraid you will fail.
The truth is, you might!
But so what?
So what if you fail and fail hopelessly?
You have to learn to overcome your fear of failing.
If you fail, you just start over! You get right back up on the proverbial horse and you do it again.
It doesn’t hurt to try does it? In fact, most successful people have tried and failed so many things in their lives that you have no idea about. All you see is the success that they have now – but you don’t see all the trying and failing that it took to get them there!
Everyone fails sometimes. It doesn’t matter if you fail sometimes as long as you don’t let failing be the thing that stops you from winning and succeeding.
What really matters in the end is that you are living a life that you love. That you design a life that makes you happy! That you learnt to overcome your fear of failing.What if I fall? Oh,but my darling,what if you fly? ― Erin Hanson Click To Tweet
What I learnt from my own fears
Last year September, I had a baby and his birth caused a number of complications which lasted the better part of a year. I was afraid. I was really afraid and I was worried. I had just had a baby and had more to live for than ever before and yet here I was on the edge of death and fighting. I discovered during this trying time what Nelson Mandela meant when he said courage was about overcoming fear!
I learnt that courage was truly about being terrified but putting on a brave face and being positive that no matter what happens, you’re not giving up without a fight.Being afraid taught me a lot about how strong I am Click To Tweet
Courage is about pushing through the pain and the tears and fighting to live another day.
Being brave isn’t at all about not being afraid. In fact, if you do something that doesn’t scare you then there is hardly any reason to be brave at all is there? Courage is directly linked to fear.
The more afraid you are, the more challenges there are to overcome, the braver you are for “feeling the fear and doing it anyway”.Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared. Click To Tweet
What does this mean for you?
I don’t know what your fears are and what’s holding you back.
Perhaps you’re ready to start a business but something is holding you back?
Perhaps you’re ready to quit a job you hate but you’re afraid of the repercussions?
Perhaps you want to have a baby but you don’t feel ready?
You need to sit down and think about what is really holding you back. What are you really afraid of?When you know what you're afraid of, it's easier to overcome that fear Click To Tweet
We are all afraid of taking a leap, especially when the landing spot isn’t as clear as we would like it to be. It doesn’t make you a coward to be afraid. It makes you courageous to overcome your fear!
So get out there and do that thing you’ve been putting off out of fear!
But I don’t know how to do that!
That’s okay, we all have to start somewhere and work our way towards what we want and the things that matter to us.
So if you find yourself constantly putting something off because you’re too afraid to just start, then maybe now is finally your moment?
5 Steps to overcome your fear of failure!5 steps to overcome your fear of failure Click To Tweet
How about you follow a few steps and maybe, just maybe, having a set plan in place will help you be brave? If that sounds like something you’re willing to try, here’s how!
- Starting today, outline what it is that you want to achieve. Think about your ultimate goals and purpose and align today’s actions with those goals and purposes. If you don’t have an exact idea of where you’re going, it’s a bit harder to put a plan into place.
- Put your end goal down on paper and stick it up somewhere that you will see it often. Or put it in your phone and set reminders to be notified about it several times a day/ week/ month etc. The more we visualise the things we want, the more we make them a possibility.
- Do some serious research about what it would take to make those things happen. Not just a quick search but start there. Then talk to others who are doing it. Talk to their friends and family to get the perspective from those around them. Speak to experts and coaches and read all the books you can on the subject. Educate yourself on the topic until you know it inside out.
- Once you know exactly how to get there, devise a plan with actual steps to make it happen. Outline how to get to where you want to be and a step by step process for getting there with an actual timeline for doing so.
- Once you’ve done that set deadlines for each step and get yourself someone who will hold you accountable. It makes it easier to hold yourself accountable when you’re aware that someone else knows if things are not going according to the plan.
Start working towards making it a reality. I know it seems scary right now but what really matters isn’t how afraid you are, but that you don’t let that fear overcome you and keep you standing on the spot. You’ve got to take a leap, take a chance and be brave!