A life lived in limbo | Migration Tales
I feel like lately, the only thing I ever feel like writing about is my journey into another country. It’s not because I FEEL like boring you with the ins and outs of what moving entails but it’s because this is literally my entire life. I have a million things to do and they ALL revolve around moving to a new place. Migration is not easy, that’s one thing I know for sure!
The weird part is that it feels so much like my real life has just come to a complete standstill. My brain hardly functions anymore because it’s permanently so bloody stressed with the things I need to do and have to plan and have scheduled. Even my “free time” is used to plan plan plan because there is so much to think about.
“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!”
― C. JoyBell C.
We are still waiting on the university to decide if Gerard gets a scholarship or not. As you can imagine that would make a world of difference and means we would either live like students for the first three years of our lives in New Zealand or we would actually afford a normal lifestyle.
With me being the only fully employed person (assuming I get a job) in this family, that scholarship would make a world of difference. It also means the difference between year-long visas that we need to keep applying for and one long three-year visa because you need to pay in advance for the course you’re doing and you get a visa for that duration of the time… so fingers crossed!
Then there’s the house!
A MILLION things to sort out here before we go. Suddenly November is seeming a lot closer than it did back when we decided that was a good time to go!
We need to get the place painted and fixed and we need to get rid of yet more clutter. I feel like my life is ONE GIANT DECLUTTERING session. Everything from the crap in my kitchen drawers to my own wardrobe is being sorted through. I am DEFINITELY not moving half way across the world with stuff that just takes up space and doesn’t make me happy. I’ve actually found this to be quite therapeutic but to be honest, sometimes I wish we could just go with a suitcase each and start over!
Leaving behind the things we don’t love
We are also buying new couches. I’ve hated my couch for NINE bloody years but it never made sense to change it. It has finally started feeling less comfy than it used to be so I’m jumping on the chance to get a new one. A nice GREY one like I’ve wanted for almost the last decade. Even choosing a couch is complicated. New Zealand houses are a lot smaller than our house here so we can’t just get any old couch. I’m sure this will sort itself out anyway. Oh and if you’re wondering why we don’t just get one over there, the answer is that spending dollars is a bit harder than spending Rand when you’re earning Rand! Sooo there’s that!
Medicals and vet things
We have migration medicals to get done too, that’s always so fun. We are both sick at the moment so even though the were scheduled for TODAY we had to move them otherwise we’d just have to go back anyway. And the animals are going in for their tests tomorrow! Yikes. I always dread trying to get our one cat into the cat box. Oh, we don’t even use a cat box with him. We use a giant dog crate because there is NO WAY he’s going into a tiny box. We still manage to end up super flustered because that cat knows when he’s off to the vet and he makes life impossible.
I’m still confused by how many people are surprised that we are taking out pets with us. I guess it confuses me that people don’t love their animals like we do but that’s life. I know it’s really expensive to take animals across but hey, it’s pretty expensive to take my kid too and you don’t see me leaving him behind 😛 A few people have suggested we “leave them behind and JUST get new ones over there,” sigh!! I can’t even go into this. It doesn’t sit well with me but each to his own!
Work stuff on my end
I think perhaps the weirdest part of this all for me is that I’m going back into full-time work over there which means I’ve basically turned off all business on this end. I find that my energy needs to focus on the migration side of life so I’m not taking on any new work. I still do my Empowered Woman Programme side of things but I struggle to book client sessions and take on freelancing work because my mind doesn’t really focus too well. It literally just feels like I’m waiting out the days to leave.
Every now and then I have a little panic session where I question if this is right for me and then I want to go to the park with my child and I remember WHY I’m leaving. I literally can’t even go to a park around my area without being harassed by some dodgy person asking for money. It’s not a great way to bring up your child. I’m certain that this is the right choice for us. Of course not everyone will agree but that’s life isn’t it?!
We are also lucky enough (read in a sarcastic voice) to have people who constantly question our choices. These people keep picking at the things that we will hate and why we should stay. Usually the arguments are about the weather… I’m not a summer person anyway but no one moves to New Zealand for the weather. We know what we are getting ourselves into! We are going in spite of the weather and if we really do hate it, then we will look at our other options. For now, I’m not letting a little rain put me off living in a safe place where my child can actually play in the park even if he does that IN the rain.
Onwards and upwards
We aren’t going into this blindly. We know how hard it’s going to be. We know we will struggle and we know that we will have days we think we made the biggest mistake ever but then, then we will watch our child running free. Playing in the street. Making new friends. We will do what ever it takes for the life we want him to live and I honestly don’t think we will regret our choice to leave.
People keep saying that we can always come back and that’s true but it’s not an option for me. Moving across the world and making yourself a new life is just something that we need to make work for us. There is no coming back in our future. If New Zealand doesn’t work out, we will start a new adventure! Onwards and upwards!
Oh, and just FYI, New Zealand has NO snakes! Woop woop!