I see it so often on social media. Women telling other women how to live and why they’re getting life wrong.
It drives me insane. Instead of supporting each other, lifting each other up, we are out here pointing fingers about who is doing life right and who isn’t.
There is this school of thought where, as women, we should all aspire to have successful careers and make a lot of money or else we aren’t getting it right. I can’t stand it.
I happen to be one of those women – the kind who wants a successful career. I also will tell anyone who will listen that it’s NOT my job that I am most proud of but of my motherhood. Being a mother is my first priority.
I quite frankly don’t care who it upsets that this is my proudest achievement. I’ve been told SEVERAL times this week that being a mother is NOT an achievement. Except it IS – TO ME!! I can’t tell you what your life priorities should be. If being a mom is not an achievement TO YOU then that’s completely fine but please don’t tell me that I can’t be proud of my son.
When you are told you can’t have children – and you really really want a child your life is fucking destroyed. I have never been faced with such a massive disappointment as those words – “you will never naturally be able to have a child.” GUTTED!
And then by a freaking miracle, I got pregnant. And we were told the fetus was not likely viable. Heartbroken. But then somehow, it was. He lived, he survived. He became my child. I am so very very thankful for this child.
And then giving birth nearly KILLED me. But it didn’t. Instead, I had SIX surgeries and TWO stints in ICU and ONE stint in a fucking coma and came out with a colostomy bag. So yes, having my child and being his mom is a mother fucking achievement that I am EXTREMELY proud of.
All I want to do, is be a really good mom. The other things are so secondary to me. I honestly don’t care if you don’t think being a mother is an achievement but to me, it is the most incredible thing I have EVER achieved. I am so proud of being a mom.
Do I think all women should aspire to be a mother and a wife? Abso-fucking-lutely NOT. Women should have their own set of goals. They should aspire to be who they want to be and to do what they want to do. They should live by their OWN standards. NOT the standards of other women. Do I think that NOT being able to have a child make you any less of a woman? FUCK NO! In fact, I KNOW the guilt that is placed on women who can’t have children or don’t want them. It’s fucking horrible and it’s NOT OKAY!
YOUR goals do not have to be my goals and it’s OKAY if they aren’t the same. Success doesn’t have to mean being Sheryl Sandberg – success can be just being you. Doing what you want to do. Living a life that makes you happy. You don’t have to feel bad if being a stay at home mom is what you want for yourself. You don’t have to feel bad if you don’t want to have a career. You don’t have to feel bad if you don’t want children and want to work and crush career goals.
Being a mom is definitely not my only goal or the only ambition I have. I am a human being with many many different facets, dreams, goals and aspirations. But being a mom is what makes me happy.
And THAT is an achievement I won’t ever stop being proud of.
GO DO YOU!!