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tyrannyofpink

Today, my son turns one. This is a HUGE deal to me. A year ago today, I went into labour two weeks earlier than expected (thanks to a burst, undiagnosed appendix) and without knowing it, the course of my life changed in more ways than just becoming a mom. I nearly died. I say these words and they still feel like the words of a stranger. Like, this couldn’t be my story. perhaps I read it somewhere. One of those things that happen to a “friend of a friend” –

Life is about ups and downs. You can’t be happy all of the time and sometimes, you have to accept that bad things happen to good people too. However, if you can’t remember a time when you were actually happy, you might need to reflect on your life and what’s going on in it at the moment. When being unhappy becomes a pattern Every now and then, we get sucked into a pattern of unhappiness and we don’t even realise that it has happened but it has completely taken over

A little while ago I wrote an article about why the #CarseatFullstop campaign matters to me. Since then I’ve been very involved in sharing articles and information about the importance of using the right car seat (for the record, your child should be rear facing until age four). Hearing Ina Meyer tell her story really hit these points home for me. I just knew it was a story that I wanted to tell. Then I put it off for weeks because I didn’t know how to begin talking to her. How

All throughout my life I’ve had body issues. As a teenager I dressed in baggy clothing. Too afraid someone will see my body. I remember being a child and being made so painfully aware of the possibility of being raped, molested, touched inappropriately. By anyone. ANYONE could be the offender. Don’t trust ANYONE I’d be warned. As girls we are raised to be afraid, be aware, be watchful at all times. As an adult that doesn’t change. I don’t wear high heels if I’m going to be alone at night – how

I wrote this poem in 2008 after my dad died in a car accident. There is nothing great about the poem itself. It was just a 23-year-old who had lost her dad rambling onto a page. I was traumatised for a long time after he died. His death changed everything about me and who I am. It took away religion for me and opened my eyes to the fact that death is just a part of life and sometimes it happens to good people without reason. It just is what

I don’t know about you but my anxiety starts to flare up when I don’t have a decent plan of action for the week ahead in place. Everything just feels completely overwhelming and I don’t even want to get out of bed because I can’t bear the thought of starting the day. I have realised over the years that without knowing what exactly my day ahead looks like, I struggle to wrap my mind around getting it done. I like to create my to-do list on Monday morning or Sunday

I’ve avoided talking about this topic for the longest time but the niggling feeling that I need to won’t go away. I guess it’s a tough one to address when it’s so personal but I’m hoping that sharing my story can help others. During my perfect childhood, I was surrounded by not so perfect abuse. There was so much of it in my family. You see, when you come from a country dominated by patriarchy, men seem to believe that they own the rights to everything, including the women in their

What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is about having respect for yourself and your abilities. Something that not enough of us have. It’s about how capable someone perceives themselves to be and plays a central role in Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs which depicts self-esteem as one of the main motivators of human behaviour.   Self-actualisation is the idea that what a man can be, he must be and was coined by Maslow. In other words, a person must become what they truly desire.  If a person really and truly wants to become a

It’s a weird thing when you feel like you’re lying at the bottom of a pit of despair and then suddenly out of no where, you get an email telling you that you’re inspirational and deserve this amazing T-shirt just for being awesome. I guess it’s hard to believe nice things about yourself. In fact, even writing this feels like I’m patting myself on the back. I’m not. In these pictures, which were taken MONTHS ago, I was feeling like death. If you look under my eyes you can see

Sheena and I have known each other a long time, we both come from Swaziland and that place is so tiny you know everyone.  It wasn’t till I started blogging that we reconnected and became really good friends. It’s weird how a blog can bring you closer to someone who lives on the other end of the world. She’s an inspirational woman but she often underestimates herself and the things she is capable of. In fact, just getting her to tell this story was a challenge. Not that she didn’t want

Lately, I feel like everywhere I turn there are people putting up with toxic relationships with people who do nothing but bring them down. There are people who actually thrive on bringing others down and causing chaos. You know the type of person, always causing drama and insulting people or acting superior. Everything they think is right and you don’t know anything and every opinion you have is wrong. Those people make you feel bad about yourself just by being around you. Those people are toxic and in a world

Yesterday was the municipal elections day in South Africa. A day when we got to go out and vote for our local representatives. There were ridiculously long queues all over the place, some of them up to 2 hours waiting time. A few people complained about having to wait so long – the day was declared a public holiday so that all South Africans were able to make their way down to the polling stations and make their mark. Honestly, I really don’t see any reason not to stand and wait

I read a quote that said, “you can’t pour from an empty cup” and it just resonated with me so strongly at this point in my life. Sometimes, as women we are expected to handle so much of everything. We’ve got to be model wives, brazen career women, role model mothers and still find time for the gym to maintain our perfect body. I’m not saying we can’t do it all but I am saying that it can be extremely exhausting to maintain and draining on us as individuals. Putting

It’s so easy to think we are living a life of our choosing without realising the external pressure that is being put on us. We go through our day-to-day lives thinking that we are doing what is best for us when the reality is, we are so used to hearing what we should be doing and how we should be living that we end up walking someone else’s idea of what our path should look like. Whose expectations are you living up to? It is so easy to think that

My son Oden is ten months old. I have never loved anyone or anything more than I love him. This child of mine is literally a miracle baby! And yet all the time, I’m being asked about a second baby. Something we don’t even want to be reminded about. You see, we were told that we “could not and would never conceive without medical assistance” – we were told that having a baby was just not going to happen without IVF. In fact, we had planned to start IVF treatment in

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