I see a lot of women saying things like “oh I’m not an expert” or “but I don’t know enough” when talking about their value or their self-worth. I know so many successful and intelligent women who say the same thing over and over again. They don’t see their value, they don’t see themselves as capable or even able. They doubt themselves and their abilities to get things done. I don’t think men are as quick to put themselves down as women. I think that comes from generations of men
So much of my life has been an emotional struggle. A struggle between what I wanted to do and what I thought I should do. I just didn’t think it was okay to be myself. To do what I wanted to do. Trying to be yourself isn’t the easiest road to travel even though it should be. I was so afraid of failing. I was so afraid of disappointing everyone around me. Something tells me that if you’re reading this, you know how it feels. You know how it feels to
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela This is a quote that I find myself repeating over and over again to myself throughout my life. It seems to have settled in my head as some sort of mantra. Life can be so terrifying. You come up with an idea and it’s amazing. You write it down and you mind map and plan.
One of the things I’ve seen a lot of people struggle with is letting go. Letting go of fear, letting go of experiences and letting go of the thing you’ve always done in order to do the thing you want to do now. Does this sound like something you’ve experienced? My own personal experience has been exactly like this. I spent YEARS at university getting qualifications in various subjects. I racked up a collection of degrees and when I decided that I wanted to stay home and be a mom
So many of us spend our days coasting along through life just passing time from one day to the next. We go to jobs that pay us because we need the money, we see people we don’t really like but we’ve known a long time and we plod from one moment to the next because that’s what is required. What if I told you there was a better way to live? What if I told you that a fulfilled life involved making the decision to be present in your life.
I see it happen all the time, for freaks sake, I’ve been there. I’ve been that person saying “but I love him” or “but we love each other” but looking back, the truth is, love is just not enough. It should be, it should make the world go round and all that fluff but it doesn’t. Loving someone who does not love you back, is not worth it. It’s not enough and it never should be. I think we accept the love we think we deserve. The more we grow
I think one of the greatest challenges we face in the world today is being afraid to embrace what makes us awesome. The truth is, we have a serious fear of rejection and failure. The truth is, we will do so many things in our lives that we aren’t good at and we will no doubt fail doing those things. That’s just part of life. We will fail, we will be rejected and we will be told we aren’t good enough. What matters is that every time we fall down, we
As women, we are expected to be a certain way and do certain things. Anything outside of that is improper. We need to suck it up and accept that this is how it has “always been” as if that’s some excuse for letting it continue in the same way for all eternity still. You must act like a lady and dress like a lady. You must be the ideal woman. As if there is such a thing. We are expected to be neat clean polite thin beautiful grateful attentive thankful
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ― Mae West What does your ideal life look like? Ideal: a conception of something in its perfection. When I was growing up, my ideal life looking nothing at all like what my ideal life looks like now. I had this dream of being a high-powered corporate lawyer, fighting away the injustices of the world. Truth be told, my ideal life looked a lot like what I saw on the TV show Ally McBeal! I wanted to have her
Being yourself is a daily struggle, a daily battle we fight against ourselves, against those around us. We are surrounded by rules. How to live, how to be, what to do and when. We take lunch, when we are told we can and go home at an hour dictated to us by the rules. We follow these rules, the book of how to for life. We do because our parents before us did, because our children are expected to. But what if you don’t? What if you break the rules
What does a life of value look like to you? It’s a really personal matter and no one is here to tell you the answers to questions like this. You’ve got to be brace enough to look at your life and try to figure out the parts that make you happy and the parts that don’t. The ones that make you happy you can put under the life of value box. The ones that don’t, put those under the throw out box. Am I truly happy in my life as it
When I die, I want people to remember me for living a life that made me happy. I want my eulogy to be about the authentic way I lived instead of the things I amassed during my time. I want to be remembered by my son, for doing things my way, for following the path less taken. For being exactly who I am, who I was, who I was meant to be. Not a carbon copy of what the world expected me to be. I want to be remembered for
Why is self-confidence important? A lack of confidence in my own abilities is what single-handedly held me back from pursuing my dreams for far too long. I did not believe in myself or my abilities to achieve and I didn’t know how to build confidence in myself. One day, after coasting through life for far too long, I decided that it was time to stand up for myself and to put myself first. I decided that I was capable and I knew that I had to prove that to myself
I’m a huge fan of girl nights and time spent with your friends so when Mandy-Lee Miller from Pregnant in Cape Town invited me to spend the day at Rouge Day Spa in Kenilworth with her and Maz from Caffeine and Fairydust, I said hell yeah! THEN I got stuck in the worst bloody traffic of all time. It was like the whole of Cape Town had decided to leave work early and come to a stand still in front of me. At first I was convinced I was in
I watched a movie recently, it was called Hector and the search for happiness. It’s a movie about a guy who goes off in search of what makes people happy. He’s a psychiatrist and he calls his journey “research” but the truth is, he’s out there looking for his own version of happy. It made me think about the meaning of happiness. How do you describe happiness? I guess, in essence, happiness is a feeling and not really something that can be described all that well. What makes one person