Posts in Tag

grief

When I was about sixteen years old, my cousin died. It was unexpected and it was a huge shock. Everyone was devastated – of course. As anyone would be when a teenage boy tragically and unexpectedly dies. I remember everyone crying a lot. I also remember not crying much. His sister, always my closest family member was broken. I remember being there for her. I remember how in her grief, she would lash out at me. But I do not remember crying. Several years later, my father too, died tragically

They say death is the number one fear. Not to me. I’m not afraid of dying. You see to me you’re alive And then you’re not   Just light one minute and darkness the next   No I’m not afraid of dying. Only the bereaved I’d leave behind. You see I know that feeling all too well The pain that fills the void The heart-break that fills the silence The longing that remains When love has died   I’m afraid of the hole left behind I’m afraid of the tears

So this is a bit of a personal one for me. It’s about taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds. A long time ago (11 years to be exact) I was put on antidepressants. I HATED IT! I felt like I had lost myself. I had in fact just lost my father. He died, unexpectedly in a car accident and his death was a HUGE blow to my life. I was 23 years old. I was just starting my life as an adult on my own and I was devastated. My world

A few weeks ago, my doorbell rang. It was my uncle dropping off some things from my grandmother’s house. You see, my grandmother died in January. A few days after my 33rd birthday – while I was lying in hospital. This woman had been like my mother. For ten years of my life she took care of me, she brushed my hair, she dressed me, she made my lunch. She loved me like I was her child. When I turned 13, I packed my bags and moved in with my

These last few days have been sad days for me. Yesterday without thinking I opened up a letter my gran had written for my wedding. It was a beautiful wish for happiness and it means so much to me because my gran died the year after I got married. At the end of the letter she said she was glad she had met Gerard and she knew that we’d have a long and happy marriage. I basically lost all control reading that. I sobbed and then I sobbed a little

Do you know those moments when you’ve just gotten really bad news and you don’t know what to do with yourself? I’m currently having one of those moments. I’ve tried to work and been so distracted that I gave up so I decided to watch series but I have no idea what I just watched so I decided to mess around on the internet but then I didn’t know where to even start so I found myself back here. Writing. As far back as I can remember, writing has brought

Disclaimer: Due to the nature of this post it may be offensive to some. Please note that my intention is not to offend anyone nor is it my intention to cause discomfort. My blog posts are based on my personal experiences and death and religion are two topics that have had a profound impact on my life. There are times in your life that really define you. Moments that can clearly be described as before and after moments. Before I learned to walk, after my parents got divorced, before I

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