• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Tyranny of Pink

Jonelle Unfiltered

  • Home
  • About
    • Subscribe to Tyranny of Pink
    • My Ostomy Journey
    • In the Media / Features
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Privacy Policy
  • Posts by Jonelle
    • Life
      • Authentic Living
      • Living with Intention
      • Motherhood
      • Emigrating
      • Mental Well-Being
      • That time I nearly died
      • Self-Confidence
      • Social Issues
    • Death & Grief
    • Travel
      • Destinations
      • Tips / Advice
    • Success & Career
      • Women’s Empowerment
      • Jobs & Career
      • Productivity
      • Interesting Careers
      • Blogging
    • Ostomy Journey
  • Contact Me
You are here: Home / Reflections on Life / Being You / Authentic Living / No, I’m not shy, I’m an introvert

No, I’m not shy, I’m an introvert

9th March 2015 By Jonelle

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while now but for some reason, I keep putting it off. I think it’s the idea of putting labels on myself that sends me running. You see, for most of my life, I called myself shy.

I was shy when I needed to approach someone, shy when it came to making friends, shy when it came to pretty much everything.

As I got older, more and more people would react with surprise to me calling myself shy. So slowly, after many confused faces, it dawned on me that wait a minute, I’m not shy at all.

How being SHY and being INTROVERTED differ

Being shy, is about being awkward about being around other people and about speaking up in front of them. Being shy is often associated with feelings of low self-esteem.

The American Psychological Association defines Shyness as;

“The tendency to feel awkward, worried or tense during social encounters, especially with unfamiliar people. Severely shy people may have physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, a pounding heart or upset stomach; negative feelings about themselves; worries about how others view them; and a tendency to withdraw from social interactions.

Most people feel shy at least occasionally. Some people’s shyness is so intense, however, that it can keep them from interacting with others even when they want or need to— leading to problems in relationships and at work.”

Much later in life than I should have, I discovered that what I am is not in fact shy but introverted and what a relief this discovery was to me. Suddenly it made sense that I was too loud mouthed and opinionated to be considered shy.

What is an introvert anyway?

So being introverted isn’t at all about being shy, in fact, it’s completely separate to being shy. People who are introverted just simply enjoy their own company and are okay not being the centre of attention. It doesn’t mean we can’t be, it simply means we see value in meaningful conversations with people whose opinions we appreciate and not necessarily with just anyone. Introverts are fully capable of going to parties and having a good time, we aren’t necessarily wall flowers sitting in the corner. We know how to socialise as good as any extrovert does. The difference? we need time to recover afterwards and we do so by spending some time alone. We enjoy our own company and the thought of quiet and alone time refreshes us instead of scaring us to death. Put simply, we enjoy our own company and need to spend time alone. Introverts are usually quite thoughtful and self-aware and are fully capable of being gregarious but usually only choose to be so around people we know well.

I am proudly an introvert

  • I prefer having a small group of friends that I’m close to rather than a huge group  of friends that I only know on the surface level.
  • I’m fully capable of speaking in public but I would prefer not to address an entire room full of people. However, if need be, I can do it but will probably spend the next week hiding from the world.
  • I don’t really enjoy meeting new people but I do value relationships with the friends that I have.
  • People often judge me and label me as “aloof or rude”. I am neither. I just don’t feel the need to make small talk or beat around the bush.
  • I have absolutely no desire to be extroverted. I don’t sit around wishing I was louder or more talkative and it’s definitely not on my to do list to become an extrovert.

People who are extroverted don’t understand that introverts are happy with who they are. They don’t want to learn the art of being extroverted, they probably never would anyway. Being introverted doesn’t make a person any less capable, we just don’t feel the need to announce loudly just how capable we are.

Filed Under: Authentic Living, Being You, Blog Tagged With: aint no extroverts here, are you shy or introverted?, I'm not shy, introvert, introverted, no I'm not shy, proudly an introvert, what is an introvert

Previous Post: « We accept the love we think we deserve
Next Post: Why I don’t celebrate Women’s Day »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Milena says

    18th March 2015 at 5:52 pm

    I consider myself an ambivert- so it’s mixture of extrovert and introvert, but I have found so much value in Susan Cain’s book: Quiet- The Power of Introverts in a World That Cannot Stop Talking. Have you read it? It is game changer and one of the most powerful books on the topic. Introverts have so much qualities that get underestimated easily. And it’s not fair. 🙂

    • TyrannyofPink says

      18th March 2015 at 5:55 pm

      Hi Milena, no I haven’t read it but I will definitely look it up. My entire life has changed since discovering and acknowledging the difference between being shy and being introverted. I agree with you fully! We may not be so keen in being centre stage in a room full of people but there are so many other benefits to having an introvert around 😉
      Thanks for the suggestion, I’m going to check it out.

  2. michaela says

    9th March 2015 at 8:51 pm

    My boss only hires introverts! He says they work well in a group when needed buy get the job done independently the rest of the time…

    • TyrannyofPink says

      9th March 2015 at 9:13 pm

      haha Yes, that makes sense!

Trackbacks

  1. Five months and ONE HUNDRED posts later | Tyranny of Pink says:
    3rd June 2015 at 7:20 am

    […] I’m not shy, I’m an introvert […]

Primary Sidebar

Hi, I’m Jonelle

I write things, I make art, I like good food, wine, a whisky after a rough day and I’m always up for a new adventure. I believe we can all contribute to a better world and we should do it while living authentically. I answer to “mommy,” live in Wellington New Zealand with my family and work for Local Goverment. Welcome to my blog…

  • E-mail
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • Twitter

What's Popular?

  • Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many | Tyranny of Pink
    Authentic Living, Being You, Blog Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many
  • What it was like having my stoma reversed | Tyranny of Pink
    Being an Ostomate, That time I nearly died What it was like having my stoma reversal
  • 6 Weeks Post Colostomy Reversal Op! I survived! Tyranny of Pink
    Being an Ostomate, That time I nearly died 6 Weeks Post Colostomy Reversal Op! I survived!
  • To the father of my child - Happy Father's Day!
    Being Mom, Blog To the father of my child – Happy Father’s Day!
  • Beat your anxiety and stay productive while working from home | Tyranny of Pink
    Being Successful, Blog, Living with Intention, Mental Well-Being, Productivity Beat your anxiety and stay productive while working from home

Recent Posts

  • No one reads blogs any more and Cheers to a Slower 2022
  • The strong confident woman
  • Migration Tales – New Zealand in the times of Covid-19
  • The story of two bloggers who lived happily ever after
  • 3 great TED Talks to watch about race, inequality & being antiracist!

Recent Comments

  • Jonelle on No one reads blogs any more and Cheers to a Slower 2022
  • Bonnie on No one reads blogs any more and Cheers to a Slower 2022
  • Jonelle on 4 years after my life-changing colostomy reversal surgery
  • Priscah on 4 years after my life-changing colostomy reversal surgery
  • Jonelle on 4 years after my life-changing colostomy reversal surgery

Categories

Archives

The most beautiful girl in the world 💕 The most beautiful girl in the world 💕
Absolutely thrilled that I get to wear this beauti Absolutely thrilled that I get to wear this beautiful coat this winter again… only good thing about winter is dressing for the cold. #zaracoat #winterdressing
My little corner of happiness #monstera #plantlove My little corner of happiness #monstera #plantlover #greenliving
Something so peaceful about an old cemetery. Could Something so peaceful about an old cemetery. Couldn't visit my dad's grave on his birthday today so spent the afternoon wandering around here. I know people will find this strange but it's my favourite place in this city 🖤

#karoricemetery #happybirthdaydad
A few graduations over the years. A few graduations over the years.
Instagram post 17914233386370190 Instagram post 17914233386370190
When did you grow up so big? #BabyOden When did you grow up so big? 
#BabyOden
Throw back to a week ago when I drove a giant Poli Throw back to a week ago when I drove a giant Police boat around the Wellington Harbour. Like a boss.

Copyright 2020 Jonelle Unfiltered | Tyranny of Pink