Sunday dreaming of the lost

I am not a believer in the meaning of dreams.

I don’t think that dreams have any special power or the ability to let you see into the future. I don’t think that your past lives are revealed to you in a dream but I do love them.

I love dreaming.

They are often so vivid, so beautiful. So meaningful. So often, I have dreams about my father who died years ago. In the dreams we’re just doing normal things, things you do when you hang out with your dad. Usually we go for lunch, we order a big meal and we chat about life. Like the old days, he’s on the phone half the time but when he listens, he really listens. And everything is wonderful.

Today, I had a nap, isn’t Easter Sunday perfect.

I hardly ever sleep on the couch but today, I just did. In my dream, he was there. It was funny cause I wasn’t expecting him. Although in my dream I was in his house. He surprised me with business cards. Now that’s something out of the blue. They were perfect. They were made just for me.

Deep down inside, it feels like approval.

It feels like him saying, I know what you’re doing and I’m proud. The truth is, I know it was just a dream. A longing. People die and when they do, they are gone. They don’t feel proud of you. They are just gone. People say they are, but deep inside, you know the truth. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.

They may not ever be forgotten but they don’t print business cards and they certainly don’t give you their approval.

Death is so finite. It is the end of everything that once was.

In dreaming, we remember. 



  • Carina
    5th April 2015

    Oh hun, I’m so sorry to read this. I hope expressing your thoughts and emotions made you feel somewhat less horrible.
    I always like to think that people are still able to watch us after they’re gone. That they can somehow still smile upon us from heaven.
    Thats me, and thats what i’d like to believe, but keep doing you, and keep going, so that weather you believe he sees it or not, at least you can say you’ve done him proud.

    X, Carina
    Running White Horses | Fashion + Travel

    • TyrannyofPink
      5th April 2015

      Hi Carina

      I think writing always does help with grief but I really enjoy dreaming of my dad, they may not be real but they feel so real.

      I’m not religious so heaven doesn’t exist for me but I’m okay with death being finite because I believe in making the most of the time we have.

      The rest of my blog is about living your life in a way that makes you happy. One thing about my dad, he really did that. He may not be here anymore but his memory and the way he lived his life inspired me to live my life to the fullest.

      Thank you for your lovely words.


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