I dated a Jackass!

Actually I dated a bunch of them

It’s not easy navigating your way through the world of dating. There are some lovely people out there but there are also a bunch of seriously not that cool people and this applies to both men and women. Women can be just as evil. I’ve heard the stories about some pretty crazy behaviour and I’m pretty sure I’ve been the crazy too.

I never wanted to get married, after a teenage love story that went awfully wrong I decided that marriage just wasn’t my thing. Weirdly, the very weekend I met my husband I knew he was the one. In fact, I went to class on Monday and told my friend I’d met the man I’m going to marry. She reminded me that I had said that when I saw her this past weekend. It made me think about how lucky I am to have what I have (yes I’m bragging a little).

So this list post is a little different to the usual ones. It’s a list of the various ways that guys I’ve dated have screwed up. See, I’ve had my fair share of frogs, I was destined to finally find the prince.

I dated a guy …

  • who was only “dating me because I had a pool.” You know, I still don’t get this. I guess a public pool just won’t do. I never invited him around for a swim.
  • who had really bad breath.. take my advice, don’t do that EVER!!
  • who told me he loved his ex on the first date. For some reason, a year and a half later I was confused as hell when things didn’t work out and he never really fell in love with me.
  • who told me that I was the one after a week and then bought a ticket to fly across the world to be with me. While I was still in his country on holiday. Then he stalked me while I travelled around the rest of his country and flew to meet me in a different city there in spite me telling him not to. Oh, he was completely shocked when I said things weren’t going to work out between us…
  • who stalked me for months after things ended and called me names.
  • who after five years of not being interested in me decided to have a tantrum on the day that I brought my new boyfriend to a club he frequented because suddenly he decided he cared about me and wanted to make things work.
  • who said “thank you” the first time I said I love you.
  • who told me he loved me then cheated on me for five years before saying he wants to marry me and then breaking up with me for my cousin. Did I tell you about the time he also packed up and moved to London with only a weeks notice? Oh yeah. That was lovely.
  • who called me a whore because I decided I wasn’t going to take anymore of his mistreating me and finally broke it off.
  • who had so many issues with self-esteem that he constantly tried to make me think I was the problem.
  • who blamed me for everything that ever went wrong.
  • who was so miserable all the time and spent so much time crying that I just learnt to take the blame for everything.
  • who moved into my apartment after a week, without talking to me about it, didn’t pay rent, contribute to anything and then when using my car for a job interview got a fine and asked me where can he put it so that I’ll remember to pay the fine. Did I tell you about the time he tried to strangle me because I changed the fine into his name? That ended up with a restraining order.
  • who tried to convince me to date him, said we had a serious future together and then later came out as gay? Yeah dodged a lifetime of “happiness” there.

There are wayyyy more of these but I don’t want you to start questioning my common sense. Too late? Ahh shucks! We accept the love we think we deserve. Maybe that explains why I’ve had all these bad experiences. Judge for yourself.

I married the guy….

  • who I just clicked with a minute after we met
  • who called me when he said he would
  • who said what he meant
  • who meant what he said
  • who never made promises he couldn’t keep
  • who never lied to me, not even when it worked against him
  • who made me feel beautiful
  • who was handsome as hell
  • who understood the world around him
  • who wasn’t afraid of learning
  • who just got me
  • who still does
  • who loved me, in spite/because of all my flaws
  • who wasn’t afraid to show me how he really feels
  • who stood by my side while I cried
  • who held me hand as I failed
  • who picked me up off the ground. Every time.
  • who was flawed and perfect all at the same time
  • who treated me like I was a princess
  • who still does
  • who loves me, no matter what I do, or say or how broken I am. No matter the day, or the weather or if I’ve brushed my hair. When I’m crying and miserable, when I have a bad day. When I lose my temper and screw up. When I’m stupid and get shit wrong, when I’m awesome and do things right. No conditions. Just love.
I married the man of my dreams.

Photo by Warren Williams

Okay so although this list is a mishmash of all the assholes I’ve ever dated… I hope you get the point. Dating sucks and people can be shit as hell….when you meet the one who makes your heart happy… hold on to them.

I dated a Jackass!













  • How to let go and forgive | Tyranny of Pink
    22nd July 2015

    […] my heart there would be no room in my heart for love. If you look at this post I wrote about the assholes I’ve dated, you’ll see that it’s not worth […]

  • Because... I'm cheap
    2nd July 2015

    Love this! I really am laughing out loud at this list. We can so be naïve in relationships, can’t we?

    • TyrannyofPink
      Because… I’m cheap
      2nd July 2015

      hehe I must say I really do enjoy looking back and seeing just how far I’ve come… but wow! I sure do pick them well!

  • Lauren Coleman
    22nd May 2015

    Love your blog! Very entertaining!

    • TyrannyofPink
      Lauren Coleman
      22nd May 2015

      Thanks Lauren. Glad you stopped by to check it out 🙂

  • Jolene
    20th May 2015

    Commical! Cringe worthy! Oh Snap, seriously – He did that? Relatable! And then I loved the guy you married…..cause what a beginning to a life time journey/story! Just beautiful! Ah Joni…..I wish you so much happiness!
    This read was totally worth the long ass day Iv had!

    • TyrannyofPink
      20th May 2015

      <3 Thank you!

      Every one of those guys taught me a lesson. Every single day of my life I'm grateful for Gerard because he never makes me feel like I deserve to be unhappy. Our relationship is by no means perfect but I definitely know what I have :)

      I'm glad you enjoyed it!! I love it when you love my posts!

  • ella
    20th May 2015

    Oh lordy can I ever add to that list 🙂 like, the one who drove the fiance I never knew about to my parents house so she can shout at me for being the other woman or the one who had not one but two babies while with me… but now I’m with a great guy who just called to check if I had lunch so you are so right, a rite of passage 😉 LOVED LOVED this

    • TyrannyofPink
      22nd May 2015

      Ahhhh no Ella your experiences definitely deserve to be on the list!! Haha that reminds me, also had a girlfriend pitch up in the middle of the night banging on the door – I had NO idea there was a girlfriend. Yikes!! It’s SO nice to finally meet that guy who isn’t bat shit crazy haha

      I’m so glad you loved the post!


  • mtebele
    20th May 2015

    I love this post sometimes it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who has dealt with nonsense.

    • TyrannyofPink
      20th May 2015

      Thank you Mtebele

      I hope sharing this post makes others realise that it’s just part of the dating story. haha it’s like a rite of passage 😛

      • Faru
        28th May 2015

        Hey joni, speaking for myself here,but im sure others can agree.
        As a guy (last time i checked) we deal with similar stuff as well. Its just as insane and twisted as you have mentioned, with the added threat of “i think it’s yours”
        No no no woman!!! You cant ‘think’ in this case, either it is or it isnt…eish.
        Best piece of advise i ever got regarding this was, and excuse my spanish, “dont stick your ^*#% in crazy”
        But hey, its the crazy ones that make life interesting hehehe, not easy, but interesting and make for good stories or blog posts
        And if you look back and none of them were crazy, then you were the crazy one… Applies to all readers hehehe 😉

        • TyrannyofPink
          28th May 2015

          AHHAHAHAHAH I LOVE your response!! Well, I’ve had enough crazy in my life to be certain that it was them, not me. Although I obviously have some crazy in me to date these kinds in the first place. What can I say, I’m an optimist. I always believed they’d get better with a little love. Yeah – that does not happen lol.

          I’m hoping you haven’t actually had the whole “it’s yours” experience.. yikes! I would not like to be on the receiving end of that news!

          I also know fully that us women can be JUST as mental as the guys in this post… but hey.. we’re women 😛 haha I joke…

          The memories are good for a laugh though!!

Leave a Reply

Previous Post
Switch to Silent
Read More
Next Post
Troublemaker! Who me?
Read More