The year, started off quite nicely. Nothing fancy, just a little celebration in our home. A good way to bring in the new year. Half way through the year however, my grandfather became ill and discovered that he had already-too-advanced-to-bother-with-treatment-cancer. We basically waited for the next couple of months for the inevitable. He deteriorated very rapidly and died soon after that. My grandmother has since been slipping away into a world where her dementia allows her to cope with her grief. Did I mention he died while I was in ICU? No? Well, he did. This year sucked.
About that ICU story.
2015 will forever be that year I nearly died. I went into hospital to give birth. I’d spent most of the year struggling through pregnancy with its cravings and illness and general levels of being uncomfortable and finally the time had come to meet our little man. Instead, he ended up in ICU for the first part of his life and a few short days later so did I. I had three major surgeries, was put on life support and literally nearly died from septicaemia after my colon was ripped open by Endometriosis that no one knew I had as well as a ruptured appendix.
So, this year, is definitely the worst year of my life. I’m ending it with a colostomy bag which is pretty shit (pun intended) if you ask me.
BUT!!!!
2015 has also been the best year of my life!!!
In 2015, I became a mom. I learnt the meaning of love and sacrifice! I discovered what parents mean when they say, you don’t know love until you have a child. Every time I look at my baby, my heart swells and feels like it’s surely going to burst. I hold this little boy and he looks at me and smiles and I can’t wait for everything we are still going to experience!
I woke up in that hospital room and I realised that I love my life!! When I was told I need more surgery, I held my Doctors hand and made him promise that he wouldn’t let me die. The truth is, I nearly did. I didn’t though. It was in that moment that I realised how much I loved my life and wasn’t ready for it to be over.
In 2015, I discovered my life is perfect! I am so loved by so many people. I love what I do. I love every single day and there’s so much to be thankful for. I am thankful that I’ve been given another chance at life. Another chance to appreciate the small things. So now I do. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all rosy and I cry when I feel like crying because it’s okay to be sad. Life is not completely perfect but I live knowing that I nearly died but didn’t. Instead I got to live. Instead I get to be a mom. My most important title yet.
This is also the year I started this blog and discovered my true passion and calling. I found myself in finding blogging. I discovered what makes ME happy and what I need to do in order to feel recharged and at peace with the world. I’ve never worked as hard as I work now and although I don’t make any money doing this, I feel extremely fulfilled and happy in my life.
Change your perspective and find the positive
2015 could have been the worst year of my life and it could have been the last. Instead, I was given a second chance and I can’t wait to see what the rest of the year brings me.
To end off 2015, I’ll be counting my blessings as the year comes to an end!! There is so much to be thankful for if we just look past the stuff that doesn’t go our way!
How has this year treated you? Was it a good year or a bad year for you?
I read the post you shared on Facebook today, and then ended up on another post, and now this one. Thank you for sharing your story! You’ve been through so much, and have come out on top of it all – how brave and strong you are! xx
Thank you so much Charlene. I really appreciate that. To be honest, I’m not sure I would have been as strong without having my son to fight to live for. He is my strength <3
What a year you’ve had! I love your positive attitude even when faced with terrible circumstances. And congrats on the new baby!
I know right!! Crazy! Thanks very much Alissia. Truth is, you can choose to face life with a positive attitude or constantly feeling sorry for yourself but there is ZERO fun in self-pity!! Xox
Congratulations on becoming a new mother. It’s great that you are able to focus on the positives for 2015. So sorry to hear about your losses though 🙁 Here’s to a happier and more prosperous 2016!!
Thank You Noel! In spite of everything that went wrong with this year, there is still so much to be thankful for! Here’s to a happier and more prosperous 2016… cheers!
Thank you for sharing your story Jonelle. It sounds as though you have really embraced the experiences of your journey! There is such inspiration in that. Congratulations on your baby ~*
Thank you so much Danielle! I’m just trying to make the most out of a shitty situations and I’m just so grateful to still be here with my son! He’s worth everything! xx
Wow, what an intense year, Jonelle! I am glad that you and your little man have gotten through it and that you are able to look at it with gratitude. Thanks, as always, for being so honest and vulnerable with your blog. I hope 2016 is an even better year for you!
Thank you so much! It was intense but in the end, it was all worth it! I look into his chubby little face (okay fat, his fat little face) and I’m just so happy to be alive! Thank you for all the support you provide to bloggers like me. Your group is my favourite blogging group! Happy Thanksgiving!
What a crazy year of ups and downs. I’m so glad you came out of it with a positive and grateful perspective!
Thanks Erin! You can dwell on the bad things that happen or you can embrace that there is so much more! Happy Thanksgiving
It’s amazing how tough we are when the chips are down, but really? Does it have to be this hard? Good for you for being a warrior.
Thanks Jacki! I agree – I could have gotten a bit of a break but as they say, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger!! A warrior. Wow, I like that <3
Very happy to hear you and your little one pulled through. I had this year when I was 16 (with the joy of having a child). It amazing how strong you are when you realize you have so much to live for. Great post!
Hi Iman – Thank you! You’re right, you somehow develop super human strength when you have a child where suddenly you can accomplish anything. It’s like there is no choice! You just have to man up and do the best that you can do! Thank you for reading!
This made me a little teary. And I thought *I* had a bad year (my mum died in May, no warning). I’m so sorry for all that you’ve been through and so GLAD that you’ve come out with this wonderful perspective and a gorgeous little life to make yours even more worth living. Thanks for sharing, will be keeping up via Facebook x
Ahhh no Uju! I’m so sorry about your mom! My dad passed away 9 years ago and I still feel the pain as if it were yesterday. You’re in my heart and thoughts! Thank you for your incredible sweet and kind message. I’m so grateful to be alive. It’s incredible how much you realise you don’t want to die in that moment when you’re about to. I think it made me really value my life so much more than I thought possible! Thanks so much for popping by <3
Wow, what a roller coaster year for you! Congratulations on the birth of your first child!! I am so glad that the year is ending with a bang. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours.
Thanks so much Faye! Yes it has been crazy! Just have to keep being positive! Happy Thanksgiving!
Here’s to an amazing 35 days of 2015! I am happy that you are here xoxo
Cheers to that!! Thank you. Me too! xoxox
You have no idea how unbelievably grateful I am that this year was not your last…. Xx
Me too! <3
I totally relate with so much of this!!!
Only one month to go 🙂
I literally thought “FOR REALS!” for every sentence! Glad this year is over. But also glad it happened. If that makes sense.
Makes total sense… that’s exactly how I feel!!