The year, started off quite nicely. Nothing fancy, just a little celebration in our home. A good way to bring in the new year. Half way through the year however, my grandfather became ill and discovered that he had already-too-advanced-to-bother-with-treatment-cancer. We basically waited for the next couple of months for the inevitable. He deteriorated very rapidly and died soon after that. My grandmother has since been slipping away into a world where her dementia allows her to cope with her grief. Did I mention he died while I was in ICU? No? Well, he did. This year sucked.
About that ICU story.
2015 will forever be that year I nearly died. I went into hospital to give birth. I’d spent most of the year struggling through pregnancy with its cravings and illness and general levels of being uncomfortable and finally the time had come to meet our little man. Instead, he ended up in ICU for the first part of his life and a few short days later so did I. I had three major surgeries, was put on life support and literally nearly died from septicaemia after my colon was ripped open by Endometriosis that no one knew I had as well as a ruptured appendix.
So, this year, is definitely the worst year of my life. I’m ending it with a colostomy bag which is pretty shit (pun intended) if you ask me.
2015 has also been the best year of my life!!!
In 2015, I became a mom. I learnt the meaning of love and sacrifice! I discovered what parents mean when they say, you don’t know love until you have a child. Every time I look at my baby, my heart swells and feels like it’s surely going to burst. I hold this little boy and he looks at me and smiles and I can’t wait for everything we are still going to experience!
I woke up in that hospital room and I realised that I love my life!! When I was told I need more surgery, I held my Doctors hand and made him promise that he wouldn’t let me die. The truth is, I nearly did. I didn’t though. It was in that moment that I realised how much I loved my life and wasn’t ready for it to be over.
In 2015, I discovered my life is perfect! I am so loved by so many people. I love what I do. I love every single day and there’s so much to be thankful for. I am thankful that I’ve been given another chance at life. Another chance to appreciate the small things. So now I do. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all rosy and I cry when I feel like crying because it’s okay to be sad. Life is not completely perfect but I live knowing that I nearly died but didn’t. Instead I got to live. Instead I get to be a mom. My most important title yet.
This is also the year I started this blog and discovered my true passion and calling. I found myself in finding blogging. I discovered what makes ME happy and what I need to do in order to feel recharged and at peace with the world. I’ve never worked as hard as I work now and although I don’t make any money doing this, I feel extremely fulfilled and happy in my life.
Change your perspective and find the positive
2015 could have been the worst year of my life and it could have been the last. Instead, I was given a second chance and I can’t wait to see what the rest of the year brings me.
To end off 2015, I’ll be counting my blessings as the year comes to an end!! There is so much to be thankful for if we just look past the stuff that doesn’t go our way!
How has this year treated you? Was it a good year or a bad year for you?