What to do when you feel like you’ve lost your happiness

Life is about ups and downs. You can’t be happy all of the time and sometimes, you have to accept that bad things happen to good people too. However, if you can’t remember a time when you were actually happy, you might need to reflect on your life and what’s going on in it at the moment.

When being unhappy becomes a pattern

Every now and then, we get sucked into a pattern of unhappiness and we don’t even realise that it has happened but it has completely taken over our lives. I want to be clear that I am not talking about situations in which you are chemically depressed and need to see an expert to determine the way forward. I am talking about those moments when you get so stuck in a rut that you just need a complete overhaul of your life.

In spite of everything that has happened in the last year (YEAR since Oden was born! can you believe it?) I have realised that you can find something positive in almost every situation even the hard ones. Even the ones that knock you off your feet. Sometimes you have to dig deeper than other times but if you look long and hard enough, it’s usually there and it’s up to us to find it.

Often, you need to assess where you are, where you want to be and you need to put together a plan of action in order to shift yourself out of the current unhappy place.

So how do you find your happiness again?


Look at your life and determine if you’re happy with what you see and if you are, excellent, keep doing what you’re doing but if you’re not then it’s time to take action.

Look at the bigger picture

Look at the various parts of your life. Do you like the way they look as individual parts? Are you happy at home or in your career? Is your family life the way you want it to be? If you’re happy with all the parts of your life then that’s awesome but if you’re not (which you probably aren’t since you’ve gotten this far in this article) then you need to assess which part is the part that needs working on.

Distinguish between your life as a whole and the problematic parts

Clearly identify the part of your life that is making you unhappy! If it’s your career then try to outline what it is about your career that you don’t like. Perhaps you don’t like your boss or your colleagues or perhaps you aren’t being fulfilled.

Consider what could be different

So now we need to look at the options available to change that. If you don’t like your boss, could you work on fixing the relationships you have with him or her? If it’s that you aren’t being challenged then it’s important to look at what it would take to satisfy that and go after it. Perhaps it’s time for a promotion. The great thing is, if there isn’t one in the company then you could start looking elsewhere for a job that’s more satisfying.

How would you go about making this change?

First you could start by speaking to a supervisor and if there’s nothing available for you within the company then perhaps it’s time to start scouring the job boards.

Once you know how you can go about making changes, you need to put that plan into action. Start applying for jobs or start looking into going solo and starting your own business if that’s what it would take to make you happy. The important thing is to do something!

What really matters at the end of the day, is that life is filled with small miracles and things to be grateful for. We may not have something to be happy about all the time but life itself can be beautiful. Sometimes, we just need to change our perspective!




  • Barrie
    10th September 2016

    Great post! I’m in a rut…for sure.

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