Is your fear of rejection holding you back from living a life you love?
I think one of the greatest challenges we face in the world today is being afraid to embrace what makes us awesome. The truth is, we have a serious fear of rejection and failure.
The truth is, we will do so many things in our lives that we aren’t good at and we will no doubt fail doing those things. That’s just part of life. We will fail, we will be rejected and we will be told we aren’t good enough. What matters is that every time we fall down, we get back up again. Every time we hear a no, we try something else, somewhere else because eventually we are going to hear that yes that we need.
If we focus on our strengths and we know what we are capable of, over time, those no’s will fade more into oblivion leaving behind only affirmations of our abilities. We will get stronger and better at what we do and we will find our definition of success and reach our goals.
We are taught to be humble but sometimes being humble goes one step too far and prevents us from acknowledging that we are rock stars in our own way. We are excellent at some things. Just like we are terrible at others. It’s okay to feel good about the things that we do well. You don’t have to start screaming from the rooftops that you are amazing but it is okay to acknowledge and accept that you do THAT particular thing really well. Go on, pat yourself on the back for being so awesome because it’s okay to be proud of yourself.
My journey through failure
I started out my life believing I was going to be a lawyer. In fact, until I was 26, I still believed that was what I wanted to do and then I finally got into law school after working my butt off and what did I discover? I was TERRIBLE at it. I am not cut out to be a lawyer. Nope, that was definitely not going to happen but because it had always been my dream, I worked harder than I ever had and the results were the same.
When I point-blank failed the year and got kicked out, I had to finally accept defeat and admit that I wasn’t going to be a lawyer and the funny thing was, I felt relieved. At first I was crushed. I felt like an absolute failure but as time went by, I had to accept that it wasn’t going to be my life and I felt RELIEF. Not disappointment, not upset, not angry, just relief.
I went on to do my Masters degree and graduated at the top of my class. If that wasn’t a sign of my abilities then I don’t know what is. In the moment I felt like a failure but looking back, failure was the best thing that could have happened to me on that path. it didn’t make me any less of a person, if anything it taught me to accept that I can’t do everything but I can do some things really well. Law just wasn’t one of them. And you know what, that’s totally okay!
[bctt tweet=”Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm – Winston Churchill” username=”tyrannyofpink”]
Accept your strengths
When you start having doubts about yourself, look back on your life and make a list of the things you’ve accomplished. Remind yourself that you were great at those things. Think about what made you great at those things. Look at where you are now and list what you’re good at now. What are you most proud of about yourself? What are you passionate about? Write those things down! Make a list and keep it with you so that when you start having doubts you can refer back to your list and remind yourself that you are really good at somethings. You can’t be good at everything so if you’ve failed, remember that failing is a part of life and failing is often what teaches us the most valuable life lessons. When we fall down, all that matters is that we get back up again!
My fear of rejection almost stopped me from embracing my happiness
I love to write but for the longest time, I didn’t think anyone would be interested in reading what I have to say. My blog stats may not be the highest out there but people read my blog and many of them actually ENJOY it too. I was blown away when I first started blogging. I was so ashamed to put my thoughts into the world but I faced my fear and to my surprise I started getting messages from people I didn’t even know telling me what a difference my blog posts had made in their life.
I was completely shocked and overwhelmed. The best part was that it gave me the courage to keep going. It took a while to acknowledge that not only do I love writing but I also do it well. That means everything to me because writing is my passion and it makes me happy. And honestly, even if I didn’t do it well, I love doing it so who cares if no one reads it right? That’s the attitude that I clung to when I first started, I thought this is for me and I don’t care if no one reads it but then they did and many even kept coming back. Who knew that I never had anything to be afraid of anyway?!
Embrace what you love and you will find your happiness
I know that you have skills and are excellent at doing certain things. Go on, admit it, something flashed into your mind as you read that line? What was it? Share it in the comments, admit you can do something well. Give yourself a pat on the back and OWN the fact that you are a skilled and talented human being. You might not be skilled in all areas, you might not have the talents you thought you would have but you definitely without a doubt, do things that you know you do well. The only way to thrive, is to live authentically.
You may not be good at everything you do but the simple truth is that you are incredible at some things, we aren’t all the same and we can’t all have the same skills. So do what you love, do what makes you happy and do it well..
You’re a rock star in your own way!