SO depression is no joke.
Everything in the world is wonderful but for some reason, there you are, sitting around crying.
FOR. NO. GOOD. REASON.
I have no idea what the actual fuck is going on in my mind this week.
Work wise, everything was going SO well, my blog is going exactly how I want it to, I finally have a sense of direction and purpose and know what I want out of this blog, I’ve even created a The Empowered Woman Programme that I want to offer individuals and later on, corporate groups and women’s groups and yet I’m a mess. I shouldn’t be – not when career wise everything is GREAT!
My cousin/best friend/closest thing I’ll ever have to a sister is moving to Germany this week. She left last night and I can only think that her departure is the reason that my brain is reacting like this.
I’m teary and emotional and a mess.
I’m crying for no reason and feeling so sorry for myself.
I keep trying to pull myself together but then I broke out in hives from stress – I didn’t even realise that I’m THAT stressed
So now I’m not sleeping properly because it’s impossible to sleep when you’re itchy as fuck.
I had no inspiration to write anything that I actually wanted to write
ENTER A MILLION SOBBING TEARS and a post about how crap I feel.
The thing is, I know that this is so ridiculous. I know that this is #FIRSTWORLDPROBLEMS right here but I can’t help it.
I just feel so down.
I’ve started to acknowledge the fact that my once very close, all up in each others business family, is not what it used to be. Last night it hit me that my grandparents were the thing that kept my family together.
We’d all spend time together at their home. With them gone, we are all just singular units of little family all over the place. There is no more “Christmas at granny and grandpas” and that breaks my heart.
I would have loved for Oden to grow up knowing what family time was like when we were all together. All loud and boisterous with no filter, no off buttons and no giving each other personal space. Driving each other mad. We fought a lot but we loved each other too.
Now that’s gone
and I’m sitting here crying because I feel uninspired to write
THIS TOO SHALL PASS – won’t it? Fuck I hope so.
Hope your week is going better than mine!
Send me happiness!
And let me know what you think of The Empowered Woman Programme and if there’s anything you personally would like to see as part of the programme. I need something to focus my energy on!
[bctt tweet=”I am not my depression and I will beat this! #MentalHealth ” username=”tyrannyofpink”]