Actually I dated a bunch of them

It’s not easy navigating your way through the world of dating. There are some lovely people out there but there are also a bunch of seriously not that cool people and this applies to both men and women. Women can be just as evil. I’ve heard the stories about some pretty crazy behaviour and I’m pretty sure I’ve been the crazy too.

I never wanted to get married, after a teenage love story that went awfully wrong I decided that marriage just wasn’t my thing. Weirdly, the very weekend I met my husband I knew he was the one. In fact, I went to class on Monday and told my friend I’d met the man I’m going to marry. She reminded me that I had said that when I saw her this past weekend. It made me think about how lucky I am to have what I have (yes I’m bragging a little).

So this list post is a little different to the usual ones. It’s a list of the various ways that guys I’ve dated have screwed up. See, I’ve had my fair share of frogs, I was destined to finally find the prince.

I dated a guy …

• who was only “dating me because I had a pool.” You know, I still don’t get this. I guess a public pool just won’t do. I never invited him around for a swim.
• who had really bad breath.. take my advice, don’t do that EVER!!
• who told me he loved his ex on the first date. For some reason, a year and a half later I was confused as hell when things didn’t work out and he never really fell in love with me.
• who told me that I was the one after a week and then bought a ticket to fly across the world to be with me. While I was still in his country on holiday. Then he stalked me while I travelled around the rest of his country and flew to meet me in a different city there in spite me telling him not to. Oh, he was completely shocked when I said things weren’t going to work out between us…
• who stalked me for months after things ended and called me names.
• who after five years of not being interested in me decided to have a tantrum on the day that I brought my new boyfriend to a club he frequented because suddenly he decided he cared about me and wanted to make things work.
• who said “thank you” the first time I said I love you.
• who told me he loved me then cheated on me for five years before saying he wants to marry me and then breaking up with me for my cousin. Did I tell you about the time he also packed up and moved to London with only a weeks notice? Oh yeah. That was lovely.
• who called me a whore because I decided I wasn’t going to take anymore of his mistreating me and finally broke it off.
• who had so many issues with self-esteem that he constantly tried to make me think I was the problem.
• who blamed me for everything that ever went wrong.
• who was so miserable all the time and spent so much time crying that I just learnt to take the blame for everything.
• who moved into my apartment after a week, without talking to me about it, didn’t pay rent, contribute to anything and then when using my car for a job interview got a fine and asked me where can he put it so that I’ll remember to pay the fine. Did I tell you about the time he tried to strangle me because I changed the fine into his name? That ended up with a restraining order.
• who tried to convince me to date him, said we had a serious future together and then later came out as gay? Yeah dodged a lifetime of “happiness” there.

There are wayyyy more of these but I don’t want you to start questioning my common sense. Too late? Ahh shucks! We accept the love we think we deserve. Maybe that explains why I’ve had all these bad experiences. Judge for yourself.

I married the guy….

• who I just clicked with a minute after we met
• who called me when he said he would
• who said what he meant
• who meant what he said
• who never made promises he couldn’t keep
• who never lied to me, not even when it worked against him
• who made me feel beautiful
• who was handsome as hell
• who understood the world around him
• who wasn’t afraid of learning
• who just got me
• who still does
• who loved me, in spite/because of all my flaws
• who wasn’t afraid to show me how he really feels
• who stood by my side while I cried
• who held me hand as I failed
• who picked me up off the ground. Every time.
• who was flawed and perfect all at the same time
• who treated me like I was a princess
• who still does
• who loves me, no matter what I do, or say or how broken I am. No matter the day, or the weather or if I’ve brushed my hair. When I’m crying and miserable, when I have a bad day. When I lose my temper and screw up. When I’m stupid and get shit wrong, when I’m awesome and do things right. No conditions. Just love.

Photo by Warren Williams

Okay so although this list is a mishmash of all the assholes I’ve ever dated… I hope you get the point. Dating sucks and people can be shit as hell….when you meet the one who makes your heart happy… hold on to them.