Sometimes people will try and break you down because it’s the only way they know how to build themselves up. Those are the kinds of people you need to do your absolute best to get away from. You don’t need everyone in your life who ever walked in.
Some doors you can close when they leave and rest assured knowing it was the right decision. Sometimes it’s a friend who made everything about them even when it really should have been about you. Sometimes it’s a romantic partner who couldn’t understand that their behaviour was hurtful to you. Other times it’s a family member going through their own drama and not realising how hard it can be on you. We all have our own demons and sometimes we’ve got to dance with them but it’s never okay to make other people suffer because of our suffering.
Always be wary of the impact that you have on others when you’re having a tough time. It’s okay to be down, it’s okay to have a rough patch but it’s never okay to dismiss what someone else is going through at the same time. Value people, value them for who they are but be someone they too can value. You give what you get and if you surround yourself with people who ask you how you’re doing and genuinely want to know the answer, then you’ve done something right.
I’ve always been independent and strong, I love who I am but one of the main consequence of always being okay is that people don’t ask me how I’m doing. Phone calls aren’t usually about me. They’re normally to moan and complain and ask for favours. Sometimes it gets hard and sometimes I just feel drained and I need to remind myself that this is a year of putting me first. I don’t want to get caught up in other people’s drama. I don’t want to surround myself with people who never ask me simply; “how was your day?” and neither should you.
I am with you on this, our strength and indepence makes people forget that we are also human, vulnerable and in need of a real “talk to me, how are you really doing?”. I also know that “not wanting to expose others to all the drama/challenges” as it is not fair, especially considering tomato relations, which I’ve steered clear of all these years due to this very reason. Yes, it is okay to close the door; I’ve done it many times. I prefer to invite positivity and optimism into my space.
Looking forward to following your 2016!!
I agree so strongly with your comment “our strength and independence makes people forget we are also human” there have been so many times I’ve asked why doesn’t anyone ask how I am. The answer is always the same “you’re strong, we know you’re fine” but sometimes you just want to be asked. I love your approach, there is way too much negativity out there in the world. We could do with less negative and more positive. Looking forward to being on this journey with you in 2016! happy new year!!