Over the course of the last few weeks, I’ve been feeling a hell of a lot like I’ve NO idea what I’m talking about and I’ve nothing to offer. I’ve been trying to figure out what my superpowers are and what it is that makes people keep coming back to my blog. It’s an awful feeling because along with it, come writers block! I’ve had serious writers block where every idea I have just seems like rubbish and a waste of my time!
Finally, I read up a whole lot of articles on IMPOSTER SYNDROME and what it’s all about… including this article by a fellow blogger: What is imposter syndrome and why it sucks big time. Reading her article made me feel like I wasn’t alone and it kinda made the lights come on for me!
According to a few articles that I stumbled across, well-educated women are more likely to feel like they are living a lie more than anyone else. Women feel like they are incapable of being successful and often get the feeling that their success comes as a result of someone else’s hard work.
A few months back, I had no idea that this kind of thing existed at all and suddenly here I am seeing myself perfectly in the symptoms. I definitely feel like I don’t know anything about anything. When asked what I’m really good at, I struggle to find an answer. Which is weird because I’m pretty successful at doing most things I try to do. for example, I jumped out a plane and DID NOT die.. that’s a win right 😛
Symptoms include:
- Diligence
- Feeling like a phony
- The use of charm
- Avoiding the display of confidence.
Women tend to work harder than men to prove their abilities and in an attempt to avoid being discovered as a fraud and often downplay their own intelligence.
I can definitely relate to the symptoms
I don’t like that I can relate to this list. I don’t like that I see myself in this list and that so much of who I am is based around this feeling.
I graduated top of my Masters class and yet years later, I still find myself wondering how I did that. The answer is simple, I worked my fucking ass off! Even with the acknowledgement of the effort I put in, my brain immediately tells me I’m not very smart but I worked really hard. I did work really hard and gave up on any social life for nearly 3 years but it definitely helped to have a brain to start with.
Do you think you could have Imposter Syndrome?
Have you ever felt this way?
Have you ever at any point felt like you couldn’t do something that you actually honestly could do?
Have you ever felt any of these symptoms or the need to charm the pants off people instead of impressing them with your work?
Do you ever look at your work and feel like it’s probably not good enough?
Have you ever been surprised at receiving a compliment about your work?
If you’ve been reading this article nodding your head and thinking oh I definitely can relate to some of these, then you (WE) need to learn how to overcome this feeling.
How do we overcome it?
We CAN do the things we do. We CAN succeed in our careers or home lives. I mean for crying out loud I’m 32 years old and feeling like I’m playing house by starting a family when the truth is, I AM a mom and I CAN and WILL be just fine raising this baby!!
I’ve been working on overcoming my own feelings of inadequacy in a number of ways:
- I’ve started trying to accept the compliments I’m given and actually BELIEVE that they are true.
- I’ve plain down asked people what they think I’m good at or what they believe my superpower to be.
- I’ve started believing what people say about the things I do.
- I’ve started believing in myself and have learnt that we’re all good at something and sometimes what really matters is finding your thing.
Maybe these strategies will work for you. Maybe they are worth a shot… if not, here are some more articles to read on the topic.
Own your success! Be proud of your achievements! It’s time to let go of that self-doubt and start feeling like you’re capable and you can do it!
Tweet this if you believe in yourself!! [bctt tweet=”I am good enough!! #ImposterSyndrome”]
Talk about good timing Joni, this post and the links are just what I needed… like mr. Kyle says in his post ’21 ways…’ reading what others are going through and doing about it helps find your own path. So, thank you for sharing <3 youre AWESOME!
I’m So glad!! I hate when this feeling takes control of me and makes me feel like I’m incapable and now that I have this understanding of why it happens, I know how to deal with it. So helpful seeing how others deal. Thanks Tash! xox
Yep, comes down to believing in yourself ! Not always easy but when you do, you break down your own barriers one by one and you get better at it, which only increases your confidence and ability to achieve so much more…
I completely agree with you. It really is about believing in yourself but the more you do, the easier it gets!
Great post, Jonelle! I have struggled with Imposter Syndrome as well (as you know) and what has really helped me is taking a step back and connecting with what I can control – which is my own actions and thoughts – rather than focusing on what other people do or how they respond to my blog, etc. Thanks for being so honest. In fact, I think that IS one of your SUPERPOWERS. Your blunt, no-holds-barred honesty. I always love reading your posts because of it.
Thanks Daniela. I think that’s an excellent approach to take – changing your mindset is definitely the first step. I also think that once you take ownership of the feeling, it starts to go away as you’ve taken away its power if that makes sense. Thank you, I love that you think that’s my superpower. Sometimes I wonder if I’m too honest but I can’t help being this way 😉 Thanks for reading.
This happens to all of us at some time or another. I love your action points though! Those are great ways to restore confidence in yourself.
Thanks so much Keelie! Ugh it’s the worst feeling and I honestly had no idea what was happening to me… but realising what it was (and that it happens to more than just me) really helped me get out my funk!