As women, we are expected to be a certain way and do certain things. Anything outside of that is improper. We need to suck it up and accept that this is how it has “always been” as if that’s some excuse for letting it continue in the same way for all eternity still. You must act like a lady and dress like a lady. You must be the ideal woman. As if there is such a thing.
We are expected to be
neat
clean
polite
thin
beautiful
grateful
attentive
thankful
dressed well
eat salad
People don’t want to see women doing things they don’t think women should do. Joan Jett
We shouldn’t
swear
be disrespectful to our men
create our own paths
colour outside the lines
have tattoos
drink beer
earn good salaries
be promoted – or we can be promoted just not above men right
Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are only permitted to be obsessed about men? Barbara Streisand
The lists could go on….
But the point is that as women, there is so much pressure on us to be a certain way and anything outside of those expectations is getting is wrong. You’re supposed to enjoy being pregnant because that’s what women are meant to do. I’m supposed to be “mumsy” because I’m a mother and even my blog is a shock when it’s not a typical mummy blog. What the fuck is that even? I’m supposed to be girly and innocent and not ever step on the cracks because that’s not what REAL women do. Never miss a beat. Never show your weakness and for gods sake, have dinner ready on time.
I walk in the supermarket and the toy aisles are clearly distinct.
Little boy aisles filled with games and trucks and swords and army men and characters from every cartoon. Heroes everywhere in every form. Fun things.
Little girl aisles. Clearly marked by the over-kill of PINK. PINK everything. Pink dolls, pink kitchen sets, pink tea-cup sets, pink cleaning supplies, pink Barbies, pink hair sets. PINK EVERYTHING. As a little girl – your hero is Barbie. Your dream? A life of being a stereotype. In the kitchen, cooking, cleaning. Without complaint. The perfect wife, mother, cook and corporate “girl-boss” – a term I hate. When men boss they BOSS when women boss they “girl boss” as if somehow having a vagina makes you less of a boss at all.
I don’t think that’s okay.
What if…
We say how we feel? What if we are not okay with settling for pink. For Barbie. For the kitchen? For home? For the title “girl boss” – what if we aren’t all about bubblegum pink and high heels? What then?
I want my son growing up knowing that it’s okay to like cooking. It’s okay to play with a broom and if he plays with dolls, he might grow up to be a good dad someday. And if he doesn’t want to have kids then that is okay too because I think fuck the rules. Fuck the way things have always been and should be and what we should / would / could do… IF we followed the rules.
I’m tired of rules and a world that tells us how to be and who to be.
Be YOU! Be EMPOWERED! Stand TALL! SPEAK UP!
WHOEVER that is. BE YOURSELF. Always!
[bctt tweet=”The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me. – Ayn Rand #QOTD ” username=”tyrannyofpink”]
Maz says
1. I love you because you quoted Joan Jett
2. Totally agree
and 3. After I posted that video on my Instagram of Knox in the Elsa dress, one of my colleagues asked me with a very concerned look on her face “but what did your husband say??”. At first I did not get it, and I asked her what she meant… “what did your husband say about your son wearing a dress? wasn’t he upset?” ummm……. I told her that my son actually wears princess dresses all the time and has a huge obsession with Frozen – and if my husband had a problem with it, we wouldn’t be married. Also, why would it matter what my husband thinks, doesn’t it matter what I think??
Anyway – thought I’d share that with you 😛
TyrannyofPink says
I’m so glad you did share this with me and now I’m annoyed for you and for me and for little boys around the world who have to deal with such stupidity! Seriously you answered so well though because I HATE that kind of attitude. People are always so terrified that letting your son play with dolls is going to make him gay – because being gay isn’t something you’re born with right, it’s caused by that nasty infection dolls give you. People are so ignorant. I am SO in favour of parents who let their kids be kids and play with the things they want to play with. If Oden asked me for an oven set or dolls, I’d happily get them for him. People also tell me so often that “I’m so lucky my husband helps with the baby” nope, nope nope. I’m not lucky. I wouldn’t have married someone who didn’t think that we are equal and treat me with respect. It’s not luck so AMEN and high five to us and our awesome husbands. I adore Joan Jett <3