On the weekend we went out to a family friendly restaurant specifically so my son who is now 14 months old could play with some other kids. After our meal, I took him into the play area. He was walking around singing to himself as he usually does when he decided to pick up some little plastic balls from the ball pit.
So there he was, walking around holding two balls, one in each hand, still singing when some little asshole of a child (probably around age 3 or 4) came over and snatched the balls out of his hands. Oden was a little confused but not too fussed, walked over to the ball pit and got himself a couple of new balls.
Distracted by all the excitement, he found a little play house to explore which was extremely exciting before walking off to an isolated section. It just so happened to be under the climbing section so there I was on my knees watching my baby when suddenly out of fucking nowhere came the same little asshole from earlier and for NO good reason went behind Oden and gave him a BIG SHOVE. It was hard enough to send my still new to walking baby flying forward and luckily, into my arms!
Not the reaction I would expect
I was SHOCKED! This time, the little asshole’s dad was standing right there and he thought to politely tell his child not to push. UM, NO! You don’t calmly say something like that, you call your child over, tell him why what he did was wrong and then take him out the bloody play area!
In absolute shock I told my husband what had happened who told me he had seen the same kid bullying other kids in the play area earlier.
Now, I don’t know if it’s just me but if my kid was a bully, I wouldn’t leave him unsupervised around other children – some of them years younger than him and I certainly wouldn’t calmly reprimand him. He would KNOW he had done something wrong.
The source of violence
I can only assume that this child sees physical abuse in his surroundings or home life because why else would a child be violent?
We don’t believe in hidings or hurting our child and as a result, he doesn’t smack me in the face or pull my hair like I see other small children doing. I think showing children how to hurt someone results in them repeating that behaviour.
You really do need to ask yourself if “the good old days” really had the best idea of punishment. If we stopped showing our children how to cause pain, they would stop repeating that behaviour? Don’t you think?
Children are not cruel. Children are mirrors. They want to be “grown-up.” So they act how grown-ups act when we think they’re not looking. They do not act how we tell them to act at school. They act how we really act. – Maz
How you parent your child is completely up to you but I stand by not hurting mine! Everyone has their way of doing things I suppose. As a girl, I was punished with removal of privileges while my brothers were given hidings. My bothers on the other hand were the first to tell you that a hiding is better because it’s over so soon that it makes the bad behaviour worth it. I on the other hand was terrified of being grounded for weeks.
Anyway, my point is, violence begets violence and I had to do EVERYTHING in my power not to tell that kid (but he WAS only 3) and his bloody parents off! I admit, I was in a bit of shock having never dealt with or experienced something like this or I might have actually said something to his parents.
Seeing my son being bullied broke my heart
[bctt tweet=”It’s our job as parents to TEACH our children what is not okay! #BULLYING” username=”tyrannyofpink”]
My heart is broken that my sweet and kind and generous child has experienced being bullied so early on in his life. I don’t care if “it’s just kids being kids” because bullying is NOT something I will tolerate.
If you’re not sure how this affects people later on in life, then read “How being bullied affected my life” by my friend Maz! Because it fucking sucks to be treated that way and it’s our job as parents to see to it that our kids are not acting out and taking out their issues on other children!
I will do everything in my power to make sure I don’t raise an asshole child. I love this kid more than anything and I will teach him to love. Not to hurt, not even when he does something wrong. That’s how you love someone and you don’t hurt the people you love.
Firstly, 14 months already! Gosh where has the time gone?
Sorry to read about Oden being pushed around, it’s so difficult to explain to our kids how certain behavior is just wrong when they are so young. I can tell from your post though that you anyone who messes with Oden better watch out for the wrath of his mom!
I know right!! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN! He’s a serious little boy now and insists on wearing shoes every day lol
Thanks Chev. Honestly, it was bound to happen at some point but it’s so hard when you see it happen to your child. I just hope he stays as sweet and kind as he is right now. HAHA, damn straight. I will whip ass for my son!
Charly hits, kicks scratches, pinches and even bites sometimes 🙁 We have never hit her or physically reprimanded her. I would blame school and I am sure that the pinching and biting is from there, but the hitting and kicking started when she was still very little. Apparently it is the physical reaction to extreme frustration (when she wanted to talk before she was ready, etc). That said, she is extrememly gentle with other children and I would never tolerate her being a bully. Also, almost the exact same age when this happened http://pregnantincapetown.co.za/my-mommy-heart-broke-2/. No mommy experience is every felt alone, how awful that we all have to go through this :'( Love to you and O xx
Mandy, How crazy is it that our articles are even NAMED the same! It really is true that we don’t go through these things in isolation. I actually told Moby this morning that I’m not ready to send Oden to school yet because of this exact experience. I’m afraid he will pick up these habits from other kids and I really think kids pick up so easily on aggression. My cousins son also gets very violent when he’s angry but my son is just so gentle and I’m so scared of that changing. I want to protect him for as long as I can! It truly is such an awful thing to go through. Lots of love <3
Breaks my heart to think of my gentle little grandson being bullied. Parents really need to be more aware of their kids behaviour towards others.
Yes, they really do! Just oblivious!