37 things about 37 year old me!

The older you get, the more you learn about the world and about yourself. I hope that ageing is something that you appreciate. I think the best part about facing death, being exposed to grief, is learning how much living there is left to do and being accutely aware of the constant power of death. Life is short but it is beautiful. If you live it well. This is a little list about me, who I am right now and the things that one day, I may want to be reminded of from 2020. So here you go, an unexciting list about me!  Hello 37!

1. I have a 4 year old son. How did this happen so fast?
2. I’ve been married for 7 years to the love of my life.
3. I live in Brooklyn in Wellington, New Zealand.
4. I love it here.
5. I work for the Council as a Community Safety Advisor.
6. I love my job.
7. I have never loved a job this much.
8. I suffer from chronic pain but for the first time in four years, I’m being treated and I’m optimistic about healing.
9. I am happy. Like wake up and smile at the new day happy.
10. I love walking in green forests on the weekend.
11. My neighbours are awesome.
12. I have a really great bunch of friends – I’m thankful for them.
13. New Zealand feels like home to me. I feel like I belong here.
14. I am in the final stages of selling my house in Cape Town and I’m thrilled.
15. I miss my friends in Cape Town.
16. I am dying without my dogs – I hope they get here soon.
17. I love the feeling of freedom.
18. We submitted our residency application early January and we are waiting to see what happens.
19. I am consumed by grief and I don’t know how to get over it.
20. I still manage to be happy – in spite of my grief and pain.
21. I don’t talk to my brothers often enough – I wish I did.
22. My child is the best thing in my life, which says something because there are a lot of really good things.
23. I talk to my bestie Maz almost daily – not in actual calls – we don’t work that way – and I don’t know how I’d cope with anything without her.
24. I’ve missed out on the birth of one of my best friends baby’s and the wedding of my childhood bestie. Another bestie is about to get married and I’ll miss her wedding too. I feel sad about that.
25. I have 11 tattoos. For now.
26. I have two more planned already.
27. I can’t buy a house until I have residency – when I do – I can bring my dogs over.
28. I feel immense guilt about leaving them behind, they don’t understand.
29. I’ve never recovered from losing my father. I still burst into tears spontaneously.
30. I don’t believe I will ever recover.
31. I am addicted to online shopping. I need to stop.
32. I am also addicted to work but I’m trying to learn to balance it with my life.
33. I don’t read enough books anymore but I’ve read more in the last 6 months than the 3 years before then.
34. I have never felt more like myself than I do here.
35. I have a longing desire to go to Japan and I hope we get to do that next year.
36.  I am massively overweight and I hate it, but I’m trying to do something about that while addressing my pain.
37. I am not afraid of getting older – I’m settling into my life, I feel so content. I am so very thankful for every single day that I’ve been gifted since I survived.

Happy 37th birthday to me!

32 year old me knew a few things…