A Visit From Grief

I don’t know why.

Today the grief flows

Like thick mud

Through my veins

I can’t breathe.

I feel helpless.

Just drawn into the familiar

Further and further down the valley

Deeper into the woods of darkness

Where I find myself in despair

I want to cry but there are no tears.

Just a silent ache and longing that burns and brings a lump to my throat.

So large I feel like I’m swallowing down a boil.

Pus, infected and rotten

Let me go, I’m trying to get on with my day.

But my heart pounds in head

And my mind returns back to thoughts of you.

You and only you with the outline of your face and the scent of your embrace

It’s as if everything,

And nothing all at once

Is pouring out from the tiny space I’ve allocated.

One tiny corner that I don’t like to visit and

now, like my cup, has overflowed.

Today

I can’t contain any of it.

I can’t hold on

But I’m trying.

Please let me go.