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You are here: Home / Reflections on Life / Being Resilient / Toxic people, how to spot them and what to do about them

Toxic people, how to spot them and what to do about them

8th August 2016 By Jonelle 1 Comment

Lately, I feel like everywhere I turn there are people putting up with toxic relationships with people who do nothing but bring them down. There are people who actually thrive on bringing others down and causing chaos. You know the type of person, always causing drama and insulting people or acting superior.

Everything they think is right and you don’t know anything and every opinion you have is wrong. Those people make you feel bad about yourself just by being around you.

Those people are toxic and in a world filled with so much chaos and drama, you could do without having someone like that in your life. People who care about you won’t go out of their way to make you feel small and insignificant.

They won’t do everything in their power to constantly show you how wrong you are about everything.

[bctt tweet=”When people treat you like they don’t care, believe them” username=”tyrannyofpink”]

Sometimes people will try to break you down because it’s the only way they know how to build themselves up. Those are the kinds of people you need to do your absolute best to get away from.

These kinds of people are toxic and you’d do yourself a world of good by ridding your life of them.

You don’t need everyone in your life who ever walked in. 

How to spot toxic people

Toxic people tend to have very self-centered personalities and struggle to see the value in anyone else’s opinion. They often make you feel like you add no value to the world and set out to put others down.

Toxic people can have these traits:

  • They rarely let you be the centre of attention or win an argument
  • They are self-centered and care more about themselves than anyone else
  • Toxic people don’t like to be wrong
  • They can be narcissistic
  • They often don’t give any attention to your feelings
  • They always need to be right
  • They very regularly fail to see things from your point of view or are dismissive of your point of view
  • They play the victim and won’t take responsibility for their actions.
  • Toxic people are usually surrounded by drama and attract negativity into their lives.

For more on toxic behaviour traits read THIS article! 

How to deal with toxic people

As hard as it can be, you need to remove these individuals from your life. If it’s a family member or close friend obviously it can be a really difficult thing to do but it’s so important for your mental well-being to do so. I know it can be easier said than done but having had to remove various toxic people from my own life, I can assure you that hard as it might be, it is worth it.

  • Without them, your belief in yourself will improve. You will feel less afraid to share your opinions. You will also start to value your own opinions more.
  • If you can’t remove them completely from your life, remove the drama by refusing to engage in their “debates” and “discussions” and don’t bite the bait when they tempt you to get involved in their dramas. On social media, hide their posts and updates so that you can just avoid any confrontation that might occur.
  • Acknowledge that their behavior is more about them than you and usually doesn’t reflect you, your beliefs or your opinions. Their behavior is instead, a way to get themselves into the spotlight so try not to take offence to it and definitely don’t take it personal.

 

  • Remind yourself that they always need to be right and usually aren’t even interested in hearing your opinion on anything. These kinds of people have no interest in what is actually true or right and are concerned only with being right so rather cut your losses and remove yourself from the debate/discussion.

 

  • Don’t engage in their negative attitude or gossip about other people. If they say horrible things about other people to you, chances are they will say bad things about you to others. Just don’t be a part of this negative behavior. It doesn’t serve any purpose.

You can’t make everyone happy and you shouldn’t keep people in your life just because they’ve always been there.

If they don’t add any value to you and your happiness and instead cause you to feel insecure of yourself and question your opinions time and time again, ask yourself if you really want that kind of attitude in your life.

If the answer is no, work towards moving away from them. Learn to put yourself and your needs first in situations where someone else just wants to be right, no matter the cost.

For more tips on how to hand toxic relationships read THIS article! 

“People inspire you, or they drain you—pick them wisely.” – Hans F. Hansen

Toxic people, how to spot them and what to do about them- Tyranny of Pink

Filed Under: Being Resilient, Being You, Blog, Making Changes Tagged With: be unapologetically you, choosing me, dealing with toxic people, don't let toxic people in your life, how to deal with toxic people, letting go of a toxic person, life choices

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  1. Living with intention - Design a life you love! - Tyranny of Pink says:
    7th November 2016 at 6:09 am

    […] to me. I decided to stop spending my time doing things that I did not feel added to my purpose. I stopped associating with people who were not in line with my journey. I made the conscious decision to pursue my goals and live a life that was […]

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Hi, I’m Jonelle

I write things, I make art, I like good food, wine, a whisky after a rough day and I’m always up for a new adventure. I believe we can all contribute to a better world and we should do it while living authentically. I answer to “mommy,” live in Wellington New Zealand with my family and work for Local Goverment. Welcome to my blog…

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