It’s funny that I’ve titled this post like I’ve got a dirty little secret. Truth be told, I’m not a dirty little secret kinda person and yet here I am, eight days into the new year and feeling like my life is a lie.
If I’m ever asked what my biggest skill is or what I enjoy the most, I say I’m a planner. It’s true. I am SO good at planning things. I LOVE making plans and prioritising tasks and organising “things.”
I literally thrive on my ability to make the best plans…and every single year, during the last week of December or the first week of January, I sit down with my carefully chosen planner/diary and I set goals for the year ahead and organise my thoughts and my ideas for the year ahead.
But this year is completely different.
This year, I’ve started the year not only without a single plan in place but without a damn planner too!! You see, I put in an order for my dream planner with Erin Condren and I waited eagerly for it… and it didn’t arrive. So I let them know and they reprinted and resent it to me and it still hasn’t arrived!! So here I am, frustrated about being a week into the new year without a planner but that’s not even the real issue in my life.
The real issue that I’m struggling to deal with is my lack of space to plan my year ahead!!
You see, we’re moving to New Zealand. That’s the plan at least. Last year April we made this decision and started putting all the plans into place and EVERYTHING was going according to plan until Immigration New Zealand pointed out that my birth certificate says I was born in Swaziland but my South African passport says I was born in South Africa. So I tried to amend this and when I couldn’t… I tried to get my Swazi passport but they wouldn’t issue me an international passport because I live in South Africa. UGH!! So now, I have TWO nationalities and NO passport that I can actually use to move to New Zealand.
So while my plan for this year is literally: MOVE TO NEW ZEALAND, I’m struggling to put anything else down on paper for this year ahead.
So instead, I chose my word of the year: COURAGE!
I decided I needed a word that kept my feeling hopeful and brave. Things are hard right now. It’s really difficult not knowing what your future is going to be bringing your way! It’s hard not being able to commit to anything because you may or may not be leaving.
People keep asking us when we are leaving and we don’t have the answer… so instead, I’m choosing to feel courageous that this is the year that good things will happen.
We will move to New Zealand, we will find a pet friendly house, we will settle in, I WILL get an awesome job and I will need all the courage I can muster up to face this year. But that’s okay… I’m not afraid, I feel like I can handle anything that the world throws my way today!
Courage!! Because failing to plan may mean planning to fail but I’m choosing to be brave and to have belief in the fact that things happen for a reason…and eventually, we will get to where we want to be!!
So though I can’t plan for the year ahead, I’m choosing to plan my attitude instead. I choose to be brave and I choose courage!
[bctt tweet=”Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” username=”tyrannyofpink”]
What’s your plan for this year? Or did you choose a word for the year?
Last year my word was “intention” and we sure set our intentions for the world 🙂 I’m not giving up yet!
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