Life at 35! Is it what we thought it would be?

Life at 35 | Tyranny of Pink

 

 

Ahhhh good old 35! Hello my old friend. We are quite well acquainted by now aren’t we?

It’s an interesting time to be alive. Being thirty-five is no longer seen as old in a woman. Is it? Or is that what us women tell ourselves when we get here? Wanting to feel like there’s still time to achieve the goals and the dreams.

I don’t know – I suppose it’s too personal to sum up here.

If I think about where I am now and where I thought I’d be now, I really have dropped the ball. I mean I was supposed to be a successful lawyer, working for the UN. Isn’t it funny how not only your life path changes but also your life plans and your goals. If I was a lawyer right now, I’d be having a mid-life crisis because I really hate the mundane every day part of law. It just isn’t me or what I’m meant to be doing. So I kinda feel like I’m exactly where I was meant to be even though I didn’t achieve anything on my original life list.

I did all the crazy things in my 20s

I flew with condors and I jumped out a plane at 15 000 ft. I surfed and I went skiing and I travelled the world alone. I met people and took chances and I drank all the alcohol and stayed up till dawn. I fell in love so many times I lost count and finally, I fell in love with myself and I realised that all I really wanted was to feel happy! Being happy was about what I was doing and how I felt in the moment. It wasn’t about whether or not I was ticking things off the life goals list.

I realised that I have the power within myself to achieve that. All I need to do is make that decision. The decision to just be happy!

And so I did.

So now, here I am, living a life that I hadn’t really planned for myself and somehow, even though I’m the ultimate planner, I kinda just got here accidentally and found myself in love with my own life.

Accidentally?

Well, maybe not completely by accident. I did CHOOSE to be happy and that was definitely the start of my path. I also chose to be unapologetic about the choices I make in my life and the needs that I have as a person and that went a long way towards my happy path. I chose to accept that life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans and not achieving your goals doesn’t make your life any less successful if you’re actually happy!

Of course I’m not happy ALL the time.

Like any person, I have ups and downs. Good days and bad days but what matters during those times is that I don’t have an unhappy life. I just have a bad day or a bad week or if you’re following my home affairs journey, a bad few months. But I know that these are just moments in my life, they are not my whole life. They are not me and they certainly won’t last forever and that’s the joy of my happy life.

The tides come in and the tides go out and still, my life is here, passing from one day to the next. And sometimes, I wonder if I should be doing more or less or something more meaningful with my life but during other times, I accept that this is what life is about.

In your 20s, you usually don’t have the foresight to think about the bigger picture. Life is the right now, the instant gratification, the immediate satisfaction. Which is wonderful when life is good but when it isn’t, life is awful. That’s just not how I see things anymore.

To everything there is a season

My dad often used to say “this too shall pass” and I’d get so mad at him trivialising my life and my emotions and what I’m going through. And now, as an adult, I realise exactly what he used to mean. There is nothing more true in this world than the fact that this moment will pass.

Be it a good moment, or a sad moment or a whatever else moment. It will pass and sooner or later all we are left with are the lessons and memories left behind. That’s the beauty of life.

It’s neither good nor bad, it simply is.

Being 35 is good and it’s bad and it’s everything else.

All that has changed is my youthful expectation that if life isn’t going my way in the moment, it’s suddenly awful.

Even on the rainiest days, we should still be thankful for the rainbows. And in Cape Town, the rainiest days are suddenly the days we are most thankful for. Isn’t it funny how perspective changes everything!

Life at 35. What’s it like for you?

[bctt tweet=”β€œThe afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.” ― Robert Frost” username=”tyrannyofpink”]

Comment

18 Comments

  • Simone Cameron
    26th February 2018

    Okay so first up…..happy 35th birthday…albeit a belated one on the blog (though I am sure I wished you on Instagram…lol).

    I love love this line…and I was meant to read this today…at this moment….: ‘I don’t have an unhappy life.’ And boy…isn’t that the truth…ups and downs, but I’ve got great kids, an amazing husband, a rock of a mother and sister….and I have pretty good taste in wine now as well. All that sweet crap I was drinking in my 20’s???

    I definitely enjoy the 30;s. I started it still very much insecure, needing the approval of others. So glad that ship has sailed….and I give zero ……’s now. πŸ˜‰ I am getting rather close to the 40’s now though, so that’s uncomfortable, but if it means I feel better about myself, and I get to see my kids grow up…then I’m actually not too phased about this aging thing <3

    Great post!

    • TyrannyofPink
      Simone Cameron
      28th February 2018

      Thanks love! I think you did wish me on Instagram – it’s hard to miss my birthday because I basically don’t shut up about it!

      EXACTLY, there’s so much good stuff to be thankful for in the rest of our life even though the right now in this minute can feel overwhelming. All we need to focus on in those moments is the next step because in only a moment, things can change. Spend all the time with the people we love and that’s all that matters. Everything else is the just white noise.

  • Megan Hartwig
    26th February 2018

    Such refreshing words and so very, very true! Love all of it ?

  • Rolene
    20th February 2018

    I believe things work out how they should, whether you plan for it or not. I guess my life is also different than I thought it would be, but I never had everything planned out… I just enjoy every season, knowing things might change. Thank you for this honest post. πŸ™‚

    • TyrannyofPink
      Rolene
      22nd February 2018

      Thanks for reading Rolene! I love how you just take things as they come. We could learn a thing or two from you! xx

  • Heather
    19th February 2018

    I think it’s better to be older, I take myself less seriously. I don’t think I’d envisioned being a teacher, yet here I am, and it’s working well for me!

    • TyrannyofPink
      Heather
      20th February 2018

      I like being older! I don’t know it just feels so much more peaceful than my 20s did!

  • Celeste Jonkers
    19th February 2018

    You’ve summed it up quite well. I kind of forgot where I was supposed to be in life at 35 because I chose happy in all aspects. That is where I’m meant to be. Even in the mundane runnings of life.

    Still stuck on whether I’m oldish or still young. But who cares, right?

    Thank you for a beautiful post. We are all where we’re meant to be and finding the beauty and happy in it is secret to success.

    • TyrannyofPink
      Celeste Jonkers
      20th February 2018

      Thanks Celeste! I think we get so fixated on achieving all our goals by x point in our lives that sometimes, we forget to just focus on the right now, the moment we’re in, the happiness that we might be missing! SO important to have goals but more important to know that goals aren’t the be all and end all of life!

  • Taryn
    19th February 2018

    Thank you so much for this honest blog post. I’m turning 30 in a couple of weeks and I’m looking forward to my thirties. I really love the honesty in your post. ?

    • TyrannyofPink
      Taryn
      20th February 2018

      Thanks so much for reading Taryn! I’m glad you’re excited about your 30s, it’s really an awesome decade!

  • Kerry
    19th February 2018

    Loved this post and I love your outlook on life.
    I was already freaking out about turning 30 when I was 26 (I am turning 28 this year) but I have realized that there is so much to be excited about because the changes within me between 26 and 27 have been MAJOR so I am sure there are lots more to come. I found myself, I stopped looking for who I was and found her, so instead of being scared of age I am embracing it because I feel like I am walking on a completely different path now and I’m excited to see what it has in store for me.

    • TyrannyofPink
      Kerry
      19th February 2018

      Thanks Kerry! I think when you’re in your 30s you really do stop trying to figure out who you are going to become and learn to live with and if you’re lucky embrace the person that you actually are. I know a lot more about what I’m good at and what my strengths are now that I’m in my 30s. I may not have achieved all my goals but I’m wise enough to know that I don’t have to <3 I'm glad you're on that same path. It's a wonderful feeling! xx

  • Candice
    19th February 2018

    So.. Not 35 yet but, often have those moments when I think of all the plans I once had. That being said, I would not change a thing. “This too shall pass”, I often used that phrase and many of my friends remember me by it. Funny how ,I,myself had forgotten about it and am so grateful I read it now. Xxx

    • TyrannyofPink
      Candice
      19th February 2018

      I think life has a funny way of happening to us while we are busy planning for other things… I’m full of these silly phrases. This too shall pass is often hard to hear in the moment but it’s so true. When things feel really hard to cope with these days I remind myself that if I could survive grief, this really will pass! <3

  • Venean
    19th February 2018

    I love this so much, definitely gives me hope for when I get there. This too shall pass is something I’ve kept really close to my heart. And although it really didnt turn out like I thought it would – it turned out better. xxx

    • TyrannyofPink
      Venean
      19th February 2018

      It’s funny how that old saying when one door closes another one opens is really just so true! But we spend so much time staring at the closed door that it takes us a while to understand what the new open door is!! It’s kinda nice being at peace with life! <3

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