Something happened to me today that I feel the need to discuss.
A friend told me that I need to give them lessons on being a bitch.
She meant it as a compliment.
I was really taken aback.
Because does that mean that I’m a bitch and thus can teach her to be one? Apparently so.
Anyone who knows me or reads my blog will know that I am STRONGLY in favour of lifting women up. I am all about helping each other, empowering other women and basically doing everything within your control to make sure that if you’re able to, you should help people.
You know what I’m NOT about? BEING A BITCH!
In fact, I try really hard not to be nasty and say things about other people that I wouldn’t say to their faces or would tell them straight up. I am NOT the kind of person to gossip behind your back. I don’t want to know gossip. I don’t want to hang out with people that bash other people and I don’t want to be called a bitch.
I don’t call my female friends “my bitches” because I think there are a million better ways to describe someone you love.
Let’s have a look at the definition of bitch shall we:
bitch
1: the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals2a often offensive : a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman —sometimes used as a generalized term of abuseb often offensive : a lewd or immoral woman3: something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant
This is not something I want to be called or referred to. It’s not okay to label me “a bitch” because I’m outspoken, confident and strong. If that’s how you like to refer to yourself then that’s cool but it’s not for me. So don’t call me a bitch, even if you think you’re being nice. It’s NOT a compliment.
So let’s LIFT each other up!
Let’s EMPOWER each other!
Let’s be KIND to each other!
Let’s let go of words like BITCH when we’re referring to strength and confidence and being empowered. It doesn’t serve anyone!
Oh my. It goes to show how people perceive assertive outspoken women. If this is the case then I should probably be one too. An insult I can live without.
My cousin and I had a similar discussion on Saturday and I had to remind her that women who are outspoken are not the villains society portrays them to be. There is nothing wrong with standing up for what you believe in and what is right. Nothing wrong with being the opposition either. The labels that women get because of it, that’s just wrong.
And besides, I see you more as a warrior who I would like to have on my team. B!tch? Not a chance.
You are FAR too kind Celeste! Thank you! It’s so funny that things are exactly how you say – if it was a man acting in the same way, there would be no issue at all. Drives me nuts. I’m permanently being labelled as troublemaker and a bitch. Why? because I don’t sit quietly in the corner. It’s bullshit and it needs to end. A woman should never be called bitchy because she’s assertive! xoxox
Oh no! That is so far removed from the person who you are it’s ridiculous. Yes you are outspoken. Yes you are strong. Yes you are opinionated. But a bitch? Never. You often call me out on saying things about people without thinking. Do not take this person’s comment to heart. It’s not about you. ♡♡♡
Thank you mom!! I REALLY appreciate that so much!!
I am struggling to see what this person meant by what she said. I would have had to deal with it there and then. Now, rightly or wrongly, I have a big group of friends here, male and female, who are lovingly (jokingly) called “my Bitches”, but it’s our private joke, and bear in mind that we’re all 25-35 years older than you. The way it was used in conversation with you implies that this person is not really a friend. She should explain herself.
She tried to explain herself but it wasn’t a very good excuse. You’re right Rowena, it’s not okay and that’s why I wrote this because I won’t accept people treating me this way! It’s just not okay!