blogging

Is it okay to swear on my blog?

18th October 2017 By TyrannyofPink 5 Comments

This is the kind of question that many bloggers deal with internally. The censorship of who they are and what they have to say. New bloggers will start out being authentic and writing the way they are inspired to write but inevitably, either someone will call them on their swearing OR they will wonder if their words are hurting their brand and preventing them from growing as bloggers.

So here’s what I think.

If you are writing something and you genuinely feel that swearing enhances what you have to say, then by all means PUT that in there.

IF your goal is to work with brands and they probably won’t like you being “vulgar” then don’t swear but that probably comes at the cost of your authentic self.

For me, the answer is simple. I swear in my blog posts when I’m writing about something in particular that makes me really angry and want to swear. Examples of this are people who DON’T use car seats. I get soooo angry about them. Another example is death. DEATH MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL because there’s nothing I can do to change the situation and it makes me feel so frustrated that inevitably I drop an f-bomb.

And you know what – that’s who I am!

I know that not everyone will like who I am and luckily, that’s cool with me.

I don’t want everyone to like me because I’d have to be one hell of a people pleaser in my every day life if everyone was going to like me. I think that’s just how we are as human beings. We don’t make everyone happy all the time and that’s OKAY! We don’t have to.

So if someone comes to my blog and gets offended because I swear, I’m cool if they don’t come back. I’m cool if they close the page and mutter to themselves about the youth of today – because yay, something thinks I’m youthful 😛

Seriously though the bottom line is that not everyone is going to like you and not everyone has to!

And that’s OKAY!!

If you don’t want to offend people then don’t swear. It’s easy enough not to do and people ARE going to be offended by your language. But to me, when you have to censor who you are in your own part of the internet, then that takes away from your authenticity and that’s the most important thing about MY blog to ME! I pride myself on being unapologetically who I am and if that means losing some readers who don’t relate to my “potty” mouth then honestly, I’m cool with that.

If that means NOT working with some brands who don’t approve of my image – then I’m cool with that too! We are obviously not the right fit for each other.

So at the end of the day, you need to consider what your goals are, what your purpose is, why you’re doing what you’re doing and then decide if it’s worth changing who you are and the way you write to fit in with those goals!

Just do what works for YOU and not what someone else tells you they think you should do!

Be yourself, unapologetically! Click To Tweet

Dear new blogger

6th February 2017 By TyrannyofPink 15 Comments

I know you’ve just started out and you’re reading through the masses of information out there on the internet and you’re wondering how the fuck will you ever know it all. I know that when you’re a new blogger everything seems so scary.

So here’s a little secret.

I don’t think anyone ever knows it all.

Sure there are the loud mouths who act like they know everything. They speak in a confident manner and perhaps they know a lot. Perhaps they know so much more than you and I will ever know but the truth is, they will never know everything.

Remember that people will brag about what they’ve achieved, but they don’t brag about the price they paid to get it.” — Penelope Trunk

Just when we think we know something – the gods of social media throw a spanner in the works and shake things up, making predicting how things will get the best results impossible. Sure there’s always a best guess but that’s not always accurate.

Instead of feeling panic-stricken as a new blogger when you see established bloggers using big words that you have no understanding of, cut yourself some slack, give yourself time. Eventually, you too will come to know a lot.

Here’s what works for me

Use it, don’t use it, but know that you’re not alone. Everyone started from the beginning. No one starts out knowing exactly what does and doesn’t work. Everyone goes through learning curves and it takes time.

Ask people you respect for advice or for help.

Not everyone will help you but many many others will. Many others will remember what it was like to be a brand new blogger feeling lost in the world. Many established bloggers will give you a hand up and help you with getting to where you want to be. Many others won’t. You just need to figure out who you can ask for help and who not to. It doesn’t hurt to ask.

I am thankful for the people who have helped me along the way and often still do.

Focus on what your needs and goals are

Don’t compare yourself to others and don’t follow advice about what you should be doing if that’s not what works for you.

You are not them. Your blog is not their blog. Your audience is probably not their audience.

You need to do what works for you.

It may not be what they agree with but that’s okay.

Don't procrastinate. If you want to blog, then blog. ― Fritz Chery Click To Tweet

Keep learning

Take the time to do research and to learn and take advantage of free courses available. Use the resources available for free out there in the world.

Check out Alison, Coursera and Udemy . They often have really cool courses.

There are bloggers who have built empires from nothing. Read their blogs. Learn from them. Use the parts that work for you and ignore the parts that don’t.

I love Melyssa Griffin and By Regina for blogging related topics

Find people who inspire you and learn from them.

For me, that’s Richard Branson, Gary Vee and Penelope Trunk.

Richard Branson for his try everything and always help others approach to life. Gary Vee for his inspirational and motivational talks and Penelope because, well, Penelope.

Penelope is this oddball woman who writes from her heart. She has built her business up over the years. She has developed her brand. Her name isn’t even Penelope. How crazy is that? She doesn’t pretend to be anyone she isn’t. She’s just herself. Learn from the people you admire. Let those people teach you.

Learn and grow and shift your focus or change your direction if that’s what you need to do. Change your niche or don’t have a niche at all. Do what works for you. Do what makes you happy and makes you reach your goals. Have goals in place.

Don’t be swayed by the goals of those around you.

We aren’t all the same. We don’t all have the same needs, wants, goals or desires. Focus on your own goals and make sure to keep checking you’re on track. Don’t be influenced by what other people want for their blogs or themselves. Focus on you and your needs. Focus on doing what you have to do to get to where you want to be. Learn from others but always remember your goals.

We don’t all want to do what everyone else is doing.

And if you want to make money from your blog, that’s okay too but don’t start a blog because you think you will get rich overnight. You probably won’t.

The formula for failure is trying to please everybody all the time. ― Herbert Bayard Swope Click To Tweet

Blogging is hard work.

It takes a lot of time and effort and often money to make your blog work. It often doesn’t make money for years. Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t feel pressured to work for free if you don’t want to but if you feel passionate about something, do it for free. For me, that’s promoting any cause I believe in.

I don’t work for free in general because I feel that my time is valuable. I believe in myself and I don’t spend time doing anything that doesn’t make me happy in one way or another but I am devoted to bringing change to a world with so much ugly in it and if it’s a cause I stand behind, I will do that for the passion not the money.

Write good content.

I can’t emphasise this enough. Write and review and rewrite if you need to. Write it, proofread it and read it out loud and make sure it’s getting your message across. Make sure you’re saying what you aim to say. If your blog is just aimless ramblings then that’s okay too but know that not many people are going to want to read ramblings about nothing. Just remember what your goals are. If you started your blog to have an internet diary of your daily ramblings then that’s totally cool too.

Content is not king – relevant, timely and authentic content is king” ― Bernard Kelvin Clive

Use tools like google keyword analysis and see what works for your blog and your goals.

Have a focus but don’t let that focus be set in stone. Allow yourself the room to grow as your blog does.

Most importantly, have faith in yourself. Even when your stats are small. Even when your following is only your mom, eventually, that will change. With time, your blog will grow and your audience will too.

Work hard enough and the money will come but be clever about the plans you put into place.

Know that there isn’t only one way to make money from blogging.

You don’t HAVE to work with brands you don’t care about. You have other options.
You can sell courses or products or services.
You can use affiliate links or sponsored posts.
You can collaborate and work with someone else and figure out a way for things to benefit you both.

If you need more ideas about how you can make money, read Melyssa Griffin’s article How to make money blogging

Don’t give up because it doesn’t work immediately.

Don’t feel like you can’t do it just because there are others who are already successful. Everyone started at the beginning. Everyone started with only one article. Everyone had to learn how to get it right. Everyone had to find their own path.

You’re not alone. Just remember why you started and focus on that. Focus on your goals. Write great content and never stop learning.

You can do this but nothing happens overnight.

If you enjoy reading my posts, sign up to get my newsletter in your inbox! And if you haven’t already, like my Facebook page!

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Why blogging keeps me sane in the craziest of times!

31st May 2016 By TyrannyofPink Leave a Comment

I started this blog two years ago when I decided I’d had enough of working for other people. I up and quit my job and found myself at home with lots of time to spare. My husband and I went on a road trip to celebrate being done with that part of my life and I informally blogged about the trip. When I got home, I decided this was it for me. I’ve always loved writing and it’s the one thing I’ve always relied on to get me through the tough times and whether I like to admit it or not, that was one of the toughest times of my life and I realised that blogging keeps me sane.

Luckily for me, salaries in the non-profit sector are pretty rubbish so I wasn’t too worried about the missed income. I just made a leap of faith and to be honest, I’ve not looked back since. My son was born a year later and my blog has evolved heaps since day one but the one thing that has remained constant is that this is my private space. I say private but really, how private is something that the whole world has access to. So what I mean is, this is my blog. This is where I write my thoughts down. Where I have my opinions on everything and anything and I won’t compromise myself for anything.

I write to deal with issues, I write to cope with things that happen and to get things off my chest. I’ve been through some seriously tough times and what I love most about blogging and my blog is that I have the opportunity to say to other people “hey, you know what, this fucking sucks, but you’ll get through it” and I can tell them my story and show them how I coped with a terrible time (like that time I bloody well nearly died). I don’t like to feel sorry for myself at all. I don’t like to tell my story over and over and hope that people will tell me everything will be okay (I survived my dad dying, I know that life goes on) but what I love about blogging is that you stop feeling so alone. You stop looking at your life as this isolated thing and instead of wondering why me, you start to realise that this shit happens to everyone.

Blogging is about forming communities and connecting with others

Blogging is about connecting and finding your community #WhyIBlog Click To Tweet

When I’m having a rough time, I write about it and other people read it and they say, you know what, this same thing happened to me and we talk about it and we find ourselves bonded over it because THAT is the power of blogging. It’s about forming connections with other people and relating to others and sharing your story knowing that someone else needs to read what you have to say.

I love my blog, I love writing and I love hearing your stories and sharing your stories too. I love knowing that I’ve helped share a little bit of that feeling you get when you suddenly discover that actually, you’re not the only one.

I may not have the most successful or most popular blog out there and I’m okay with that. This blog is my little space on the internet, my little part of the world where I can write about love, life, death, grief, trauma and being a mom because all those things make me who I am and I refuse to apologise for being me. There are so many varied and diverse things that make us who we are. There are things that matter to some people, there are things that don’t matter at all but what makes us all matter, is that we are individuals and THAT is what I love about my blog. It’s a place for me to be creative, to design, to connect, to tell stories, to be me. It’s mine and I need it just as much as I love it.

My Friend Thinks I’m Supermom – The parenting blog for working women!

28th October 2015 By Jonelle 2 Comments

This is a post that I wanted to write almost two months ago. On the day that I started drafting it I went into labour. Yikes. Instead of coming home four days later with a newborn baby, I had to have two more surgeries and both baby and I only arrived home three weeks later. (Read about that here)

It was one hell of an eye-opening experience but now that I’m almost back to my old self, my blog needs my attention and I can finally get back to doing what I love. Posting about the things I feel passionate about.

I regularly read Celeste’s blog My Friend Thinks I’m Supermom (Recently rebranded to Being Me); She blogs for the love of blogging and it shows in what she writes about. Her blogs tagline is “Blogging is after all cheaper than therapy” and she writes about taking life “by the horns and dealing with it”… now that sure sounds like a blog that’s right up my alley. If you’re keen to read posts about all things local: food, fashion, fun and life then go RIGHT now (okay wait, maybe first read my post and then go) and check out her blog!! To get you started, here’s an interview I did with the lady behind the blog!

Introducing Celeste!

Firstly, can you give us a small intro into who Celeste is. What inspires you to get up every day and live your life in the way that you do? (Not the official bio version but the real life version that matters).

I am a very easy person, it really doesn’t take much for me to be happy. All I really need is never to feel out of control and that is almost impossible living the life I do. I am a very passionate person and if I set my sights on something you can bet your bottom dollar I am going to make it happen….eventually. What inspires and motivates me daily varies but I am driven by my 3 children and husband to be a better person and they all teach me valuable lessons everyday. I get up knowing that I have a purpose because of them.

Tell us about your family.

I am married to Kobus for 12 years and we have 3 beautiful children. Zoe (9) Reece (6) and Mila (3) We live in Cape Town in the beautiful Helderberg. Both my husband and I work full Time.

Zoe my eldest is a beautiful example of an all-rounder. She is exquisitely beautiful, has a very loving and caring personality. She is extremely academically inclined, focused and determined. She also excels in sports of all kinds. She is heading into a pre-teen stage now so we are experiencing a few personality clash issues and other hormonally related and driven situations.

Reece is my only Son. He is the middle child. He doesn’t seem to be struggling with any of the typical middle child issues but he has a bucket load of other things that make up for it. He is our “High needs child” He has been since birth and this continues to rear its head daily. That aside he is the most loving and gentle soul with a flair for patterns, colours and designs. We are at a point with him where we have come to realise he has similar traits and mannerisms to what is called an Indigo. I plan to blog on this at some point.

Mila is our free-spirited, Characterful & fun-loving soul. She is an immense and really sometimes seems to be the glue that keeps us all on our toes and aware to worry less and laugh more.

What’s the best thing about your husband?

He constantly tries to improve himself. He is extremely focused on becoming a better more “conscious ” individual and I admire that trait. It’s very motivational.

What is your Full – Time Job?

I work in the production team of a busy Economics firm based at a University.

What do you do (for fun) when you’re not being a total supermom?

I love to shop! I also love watching You Tube videos and tutorials on things that interest me. When I feel like I need something really relaxing, I crochet or read or cook something new. If I get a night out or lunch-date out with my Girlfriends then even better.

So I’ve been dying to hear the story behind your blogs name. Can you tell us a bit more about how your friend Michelle inspired you to name your blog?

I met Michelle on a parenting forum. We were both pregnant at the time. We had our babies close together and chatted daily although we lived in different cities. I already had two other kids plus my full-time day job. Along with that though I was running a very busy home based business. I was dealing with issues regarding the death of my Dad and things in general were tough. She would tell me daily I was a Supermom. We talked about how blogging could be like therapy and so I was inspired to try to that is how the blog got its name and tagline it was merely an extension of my life at the time and seemed fitting. When I started blogging it literally was more like keeping a journal, and so my first post on the blog talked about how it was perceived that I was a Supermom but that really couldn’t be further from the truth.

Your blog has been running since 2012, how have you managed to keep at it for the last three years?

Well to be honest for a very long time it was sort of just a journal for myself. When I felt I needed to get something out I would put it on the blog. For long patches I wouldn’t blog at all. In 2014, I probably only blogged once or twice. This year however, I came the decision that this blog was something I wanted to use to inspire other woman like me so I have made a huge concerted effort to get it out there and with that comes the commitment to making sure you put out regular content. It’s not hard really because a lack of something to say is not a problem I suffer with. There is so much I want to blog about and have scheduled to be posted and so now I am all systems go. I am very excited and really hope to be putting out content far more regularly from now on. It’s much easier since my children are getting bigger to find the time to put in an hour or two on the blog in the evening and with great apps like Evernote which I would be lost without, I am able to jot down ideas and even whole blog posts while I am out and about. There is not really much of an excuse or shouldn’t be.

Would you say that things have changed quite a bit since you started the blog?

As mentioned above, yes. When I first started my blog it was purely just a sounding board to myself, it wasn’t aimed at reaching anybody, but in this last year my vision for it has changed almost 360 degrees. The hope I have for it now, is that it reaches and touches people all over, especially working Moms. I need them to know they are not alone in this parenting boat. I have social media accounts now which I never had before and so my blog is being seen all over the place and not just for the few people I gave the link to. I am also reviewing products and services that come my way and interest me which I wasn’t doing before. I love being able to offer other moms like me great things that can make their lives easier or more fun.

Your blog is a parenting and lifestyle blog for the working mom. Tell us what makes your approach different to the other blogs that cover parenting. What do you think is the impact of your blog on your readers (what makes them keep coming back)?

In South Africa there aren’t many Parenting blogs that focus on the needs of the working parent. I really hope to change that. I want to create unique content that provides working parents with ideas and resources that will help them simplify life. I want to talk about the topics that don’t get dealt with often on parenting blogs. Most parenting blogs (Not all) are run by Stay at home parents and often homeschooling parents and so they are usually specific to that lifestyle, there is very little available to the working mom and that is something I have a world of expertise in and can talk about comfortably. What I hope makes people come back is my honestly and the way I write from the heart. I really hope that other Moms like me are able to relate to my blog and find a connection with me.

Do you ever feel completely overwhelmed with all the deadlines thrown at you? How do you find balance between blogging, family and work?

Sometimes I can get quite overwhelmed if I don’t schedule properly. Like any working person will know, a diary is imperative and I have one for my regular job and for the blog, I even have a separate one for the kids. It’s really all about not overcommitting the end which is something I have been known to do. I am working on that though. I usually only deal with blog matters after hours or during my lunch hour at work, where I can focus on it properly. When I go through very quiet times at work I do spend time on the blog side but for the rest I separate the two.

My blog is about coping with real life. What would you say has been your hardest obstacle in life?

Losing my Dad suddenly to Cancer has to be it and living with the fact that I chose not to stay with him in his last hours because of my own insecurities.

How did you manage to overcome that incident?

I still haven’t, not a day goes by I don’t regret it or blame myself for not being there for him.

Do you think there was a lesson to be learnt from the experience?

Yes, sometimes it’s just best to let go and accept. If you don’t, it can eat you alive.

Who or what do you think has had the most significant influence on the type of person you have turned out to be?

It is going to sound cliché but I am going to say my children. They have really taught me so much I never ever knew about myself. Daily I learn extremely valuable and priceless lessons from them. They have taught me a strength in myself that I never knew existed. They have taught me perseverance I hadn’t experienced before as well as how to be more humble and present.

One of the things I love to do on my blog is to use featured quotes in every post. What is a quote that you find yourself going back to time and time again, that has in a way become your “life motto?”

Actress Angelina Jolie said “I think if you love what you do, and the choice you’ve made in your life, somehow that drives you forward to enjoy it all. Even the chaos, even the exhaustion of it, and even when it seems out of balance”.

Just for the hell of it, can you tell us about your most embarrassing moment ever?

Once, unknowingly, I replied to sender in an email to a V.I.P, instead of forwarding to a colleague about said V.I.P being a “Nana” i.e stupid because I felt he was being a little difficult. I have never lived this one down. Even after 12 years.

And there you have it.. If you’d like to follow Celeste on social media, here are her links!

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Supermomblog
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Cherrycolagirl1
Instagram: https://instagram.com/celestebooysen

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What does a blogger do all day?

27th March 2015 By Jonelle 2 Comments

I love blogging but it is damn hard work if you take it seriously and people under-estimate just exactly what that means. So to help clear things up a little, I thought I’d share with you what my typical day is like. It’s not all spent sitting around in my pjs watching series I promise you.

can't function without my coffee — I wish I drank my coffee every morning out of this gorgeous cup

I wake up at around 6:30am.

Coffee is handed to me. Yes, my husband is the freaking best isn’t he? I would not cope with life or the world if this is not how every morning started. My posts are usually scheduled for 7am so the first thing I usually do is check that they have gone off as planned. I usually lie around in bed catching up on current affairs while wonderful husband goes off to make breakfast. At this point, yes, I am aware that I sound like a princess. I am okay with that.

At 8am I usually get up and officially start my day

This involves a lot of social media, where I update Facebook, share my morning post to my main Facebook page as well as ensure everything has gone to twitter and google plus. I then manually share my post tweets to my other twitter accounts and pin any images to Pinterest. By now it’s about 9:15am.

tyrannyofpink — I work on my bed a lot of the time

At 9:15 it’s time to write

Now’s the fun part; deciding what to write about. I have a content calendar which is basically a list of topics to blog about. I highly recommend these to any would be bloggers because there will be days when you have absolutely no inspiration to create new content whatsoever. It really helps having a go-to list of topics even if you don’t follow them in a day-to-day manner. On the days when I have no inspiration, it also helps to have a draft post stored away somewhere that I can edit and use. I usually spend most of the morning writing a post. I am done with the written part by around 1pm. Then I have lunch while I watch an episode of series (okay, so there is definitely some series watching involved in my daily task list).

lunch time finally — Finally its lunch time!

At 2pm – it’s image time

I source an appropriate image, either from my own photos which I usually prefer to use or I find a free stock image online. You can pay for these but I often find free ones that work for me. When you are still at the stage where your blog is bringing in zero income, it’s important to save costs where you can. I then run this through Canva.com and add any necessary text to the image. Once the image is complete, I upload it to the post, proof read, preview post and proof read again and finally, after about 10-15 revisions of the post, I schedule it to go off to you lovely readers at 7am the next morning.

The afternoon slump

At this point the dogs are antsy and I’m ready for a nap but the day isn’t over yet. From about 3pm till about 6pm I’m looking at my stats, checking if the post is a hit and re-sharing it and earlier posts on social media. I also spend this time looking for “blogger opportunities” which I can apply for. Most of these depend on having a number of followers which I hadn’t reached until recently so I mostly just spent the time planning for the future and getting my feelers out there. Blogging as a business requires a lot of planning and research.

I’m also constantly on the look out for other blogs in my niche to see what I could be doing bigger and better and how to improve my content. As a new blogger, not only do I need to work extra hard at writing content but I also need to learn, from scratch all the tricks of the trade. I spend A LOT of my time reading up on how to do things like add plug-ins, which ones are necessary and how to improve my site. Luckily I have Dani, my “go to” graphic designer who helps me sort out my page but I also want to know how to do things on my own so I usually try to figure it out before I ask for help. My day ends at about 6pm officially but I am always thinking of new topics. I try to respond to comments as soon as I can but I also need to learn to create boundaries between my work and my life.

End of the day – well, sort of

I love blogging so much that it doesn’t feel like hard work but the entire day will go by without me realising that I’ve spent hours trying to find the perfect plug-in to do exactly what I need done. It can be exhausting. I often join in blogging chats on twitter too which usually run on UK time and thanks to daylight saving hours, they usually only start at my 10pm and last for an hour. By the time I finally go to sleep I am exhausted and fall asleep pretty much immediately. Pity though that being pregnant means I hardly get a full night sleep anymore anyway but it’s all worth it when I know that you have enjoyed my post.

Is this what you thought my day would be like? Let me know in the comments if you’re surprised about how much time actually goes into creating a single post.

As always, thanks for reading and if you are enjoying my blog, don’t forget to subscribe to my blog and share the article 🙂

Life is for living

10th February 2015 By Jonelle 3 Comments

I’ve been putting off writing this post for a few days now. I don’t know why but it seems so pretentious to write but at the same time I just have this burning need to get it out of me. I think it’s weird how you just have these ideas in your head that need to get out. Like if they stay trapped inside you might explode. It’s not often that I feel like that, usually I just write what I feel and that’s that but this time it was different. I guess it’s because it means so much to me given my current stand on life.

I had been questioning my own purpose for the longest time. Trying to understand my role in the world. I had always known that I wanted to make a difference, I had always known that this was my destiny, until it wasn’t. It’s strange how you can end up so jaded with the world. [Read more…] about Life is for living