People don’t always like to hear the truth. It’s something I’ve come to know over the course of my life. People say they want you to be honest but they don’t. They want a sugar-coated version of the truth that’s palatable. No one wants to face the harsh realities of life.
How do I look?
You look lovely.
What do you think of my boyfriend?
I think he’s a real nice guy.
So we tell these lies and we hold our truths because we fear losing friendships and damaging relationships. We tell people the things they want to hear instead of the things we know are true. We tell them they look good in those jeans because we know it’s their favourite pair. We say we love the boyfriend when really we know he’s a good for nothing piece of crap because people don’t want to hear the truth.
I remember being about 16 and my cousin saying “just ask Joni, you know she’ll be honest” because that’s just who I am. I’m honest. I can’t help myself, I hate telling untruths. I don’t want to be that person who lies to friends and pretends everything is fine. I don’t want to lie to myself and deny how I really feel on the inside. I don’t want to be the person who tells you things you want to hear when they won’t help you. I know that the truth, doesn’t always need to be said. I know that sometimes, if we love the jeans enough, they make us feel like a million dollars even though we may look worth about ten bucks.
Being honest does not have to equate to being mean but you can still be truthful without being nasty. I’ve learnt over the years to answer in a way that isn’t a lie. Do you like my new haircut? I LOVE the colour, what colour is that? It might not be what people want to hear exactly but I’d rather stick to my guns and tell the truth, than straight up lie and tell you I love your haircut when really I think you look like Mr Bean and honestly, if you can’t respect that I’m never going to be dishonest with you, and that is grounds for ending our friendship, then I’m not gonna lie, I probably won’t miss you.
What’s your approach?
Are you honest with your friends about how you feel about certain things or are you constantly terrified that people will think less of you for saying how you really feel? If you do sugar coat the things you say, do you honestly want to spend your life pretending to be someone you’re not so that people can like you?
Life is way too short to spend time worrying about what people think of you.