Looking back on 2015, Reflecting on the year that was.

It’s nearly the end of the year. Christmas is around the corner, literally a few days away and I thought that makes it a pretty good time to do some reflecting over the last year.

Blog life

I started my blog in January, after a short attempt at blogging unofficially and discovering that writing is my absolute passion. Someone asked me long ago to think about pursuing a life as a writer and I brushed her off. Well, turns out I spent an awful lot of my life having no idea that what I’m most passionate about is putting my thoughts into the world. I started my blog as a way to document my transition from being fully employed in the non-profit sector to staying home and becoming a full-time blogger and mother.

I’ve learnt so much over the course of the year.

For a start, I’ve learnt that blogging is damn hard work and that people will always underestimate what it means to be a blogger. I’ve also learnt that there is fierce competition between some bloggers and great friendships to be made. I’ve gotten to know some bloggers and become friends with others over the course of the year and I’ve really enjoyed being a part of the community that exists out there. I’ve even managed to start a really amazing friendship with one blogger in particular, Mandy-Lee Miller who went out of her way to check in on me every day that I was in ICU. She’s this truly incredible person. You should visit her blog, Pregnant in Cape Town because not only is she a lovely person but also an incredibly talented writer.

Since starting my blog, I’ve also learnt to take everything with a pinch of salt and to see comments on my posts for what they are, a reflection of others more than anything to do with me. Sometimes people are hurting and they lash out, other times they relate so strongly to what you have to say. Either way, the best thing about being a blogger is building relationships with people who GET you. Over the course of the year, I’ve received a few emails from people telling me that my posts have helped them in some way, that they’ve resonated with them, that they agree, that they enjoyed them and I take each and every single compliment and put it in a special place in my heart. I’m so grateful for every single person who reads my blog. Every person who comments and all the support I’ve gotten over the last year.

I’ve learnt so much about WordPress, about putting together my blogs layout and even some coding (WHAT?!!). It’s been a great journey so far. I’ve learnt how to edit graphics and what to do on social media. I’ve learnt about SEO, categories and tags. I’ve learnt that people enjoy reading personal stuff and that even though I thought no one would ever read what I write, lots of people do. So thank you for that.

Life in general

[bctt tweet=”It’s up to you to find beauty in the ugliest of days #StayPositive”]

This year has been exhausting, mentally, physically and emotionally. I’ve spent the last few months trying to come to terms with nearly dying and just processing everything around that. There are still times I look at my son and burst into tears at the thought of what I nearly missed. Who knew that I’d have a near death experience to add to my collection of things I’ve done in my life.

For more on that read this post: Why 2015 sucked and has still been the best year of my life

I was finally diagnosed with Endometriosis after a lifetime of suffering unnecessarily. It was the thing that landed me in ICU but at least now I’ve finally started treatment to keep the pain under wraps. Too many women live their lives without knowing that it even exists, until recently that was me and I’m glad I finally have answers. (The ugly truth about Endometriosis)

I’ve also learnt over the last three months, how much it means to me to be a mother. Having my child has changed me. I’m still me, but with a bursting heart. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to be a mother and then when I decided I wanted a baby, we were told it was going to be nearly impossible to conceive naturally. Against all odds, our child arrived in our world just when he wanted to and I can’t even begin to explain how much I was meant to be a mother. I’ve never felt love like this before.

I also lost one the people dearest to me in my life. My grandfather. I spent ten years living with my grandparents and they treated me like a little princess. My grandfather was such an important figure in my life and having already lost my father, this was a hard blow. He was diagnosed with cancer in the middle of the year and a few months later, while I was in ICU, he passed away. It was easier to face him going than to see him suffering but I had hoped he would at least meet my son. He had been counting down the weeks. I gave birth days before his passing. I feel cheated. I feel like my son was cheated but this is how life goes. We don’t always get our happy endings.

Looking to the future

I look towards next year and I’m excited about what it will bring. I have some plans in my bag and a few goals to work towards but mostly I’m excited about my reversal operation. I can’t wait for the end of February, early March when I wake up and no longer have to deal with life with a colostomy bag attached to me.

I’m excited about launching a second blog (yup, it’s been in the plans for a few months now but still needs a whole lot of tweaking) so watch this space. I’m excited about my birthday in January, not only do I get to celebrate my 33rd year in this world but friends are getting married on my actual birthday and I can’t wait to celebrate their big day with them. It’s going to be incredible.

Yes, this year was a mix of happy and sad. A celebration and perhaps the scariest year in quite a few people’s lives. It wasn’t an easy year but it was a beautiful year as well. So much happened in this year that I’m just thankful for. I’m really looking forward to New Years eve when I can make a toast to the next year. A year of big plans and great expectations. A year of new beginnings and fresh starts. A year like no other. If there is one thing I’ve learnt this year, it’s to always keep your spirits up and just be true to yourself. When bad things happen, they hurt but the pain gets easier over time and before you know it, something wonderful has happened.

[bctt tweet=”Think positive and positive things will happen “]

Always stay positive and live unapologetically.