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You are here: Home / Reflections on Life / Being Resilient / Being an Ostomate / Looking back on 2015, Reflecting on the year that was.

Looking back on 2015, Reflecting on the year that was.

16th December 2015 By Jonelle

It’s nearly the end of the year. Christmas is around the corner, literally a few days away and I thought that makes it a pretty good time to do some reflecting over the last year.

Blog life

I started my blog in January, after a short attempt at blogging unofficially and discovering that writing is my absolute passion. Someone asked me long ago to think about pursuing a life as a writer and I brushed her off. Well, turns out I spent an awful lot of my life having no idea that what I’m most passionate about is putting my thoughts into the world. I started my blog as a way to document my transition from being fully employed in the non-profit sector to staying home and becoming a full-time blogger and mother.

I’ve learnt so much over the course of the year.

LOOKING BACK ON 2015, REFLECTING ON THE YEAR THAT WAS. | Tyranny of Pink

For a start, I’ve learnt that blogging is damn hard work and that people will always underestimate what it means to be a blogger. I’ve also learnt that there is fierce competition between some bloggers and great friendships to be made. I’ve gotten to know some bloggers and become friends with others over the course of the year and I’ve really enjoyed being a part of the community that exists out there. I’ve even managed to start a really amazing friendship with one blogger in particular, Mandy-Lee Miller who went out of her way to check in on me every day that I was in ICU. She’s this truly incredible person. You should visit her blog, Pregnant in Cape Town because not only is she a lovely person but also an incredibly talented writer.

Since starting my blog, I’ve also learnt to take everything with a pinch of salt and to see comments on my posts for what they are, a reflection of others more than anything to do with me. Sometimes people are hurting and they lash out, other times they relate so strongly to what you have to say. Either way, the best thing about being a blogger is building relationships with people who GET you. Over the course of the year, I’ve received a few emails from people telling me that my posts have helped them in some way, that they’ve resonated with them, that they agree, that they enjoyed them and I take each and every single compliment and put it in a special place in my heart. I’m so grateful for every single person who reads my blog. Every person who comments and all the support I’ve gotten over the last year.

I’ve learnt so much about WordPress, about putting together my blogs layout and even some coding (WHAT?!!). It’s been a great journey so far. I’ve learnt how to edit graphics and what to do on social media. I’ve learnt about SEO, categories and tags. I’ve learnt that people enjoy reading personal stuff and that even though I thought no one would ever read what I write, lots of people do. So thank you for that.

Life in general

[bctt tweet=”It’s up to you to find beauty in the ugliest of days #StayPositive”]

This year has been exhausting, mentally, physically and emotionally. I’ve spent the last few months trying to come to terms with nearly dying and just processing everything around that. There are still times I look at my son and burst into tears at the thought of what I nearly missed. Who knew that I’d have a near death experience to add to my collection of things I’ve done in my life.

For more on that read this post: Why 2015 sucked and has still been the best year of my life

I was finally diagnosed with Endometriosis after a lifetime of suffering unnecessarily. It was the thing that landed me in ICU but at least now I’ve finally started treatment to keep the pain under wraps. Too many women live their lives without knowing that it even exists, until recently that was me and I’m glad I finally have answers. (The ugly truth about Endometriosis)

I’ve also learnt over the last three months, how much it means to me to be a mother. Having my child has changed me. I’m still me, but with a bursting heart. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to be a mother and then when I decided I wanted a baby, we were told it was going to be nearly impossible to conceive naturally. Against all odds, our child arrived in our world just when he wanted to and I can’t even begin to explain how much I was meant to be a mother. I’ve never felt love like this before.

I also lost one the people dearest to me in my life. My grandfather. I spent ten years living with my grandparents and they treated me like a little princess. My grandfather was such an important figure in my life and having already lost my father, this was a hard blow. He was diagnosed with cancer in the middle of the year and a few months later, while I was in ICU, he passed away. It was easier to face him going than to see him suffering but I had hoped he would at least meet my son. He had been counting down the weeks. I gave birth days before his passing. I feel cheated. I feel like my son was cheated but this is how life goes. We don’t always get our happy endings.

Looking to the future

LOOKING BACK ON 2015, REFLECTING ON THE YEAR THAT WAS. | Tyranny of Pink

I look towards next year and I’m excited about what it will bring. I have some plans in my bag and a few goals to work towards but mostly I’m excited about my reversal operation. I can’t wait for the end of February, early March when I wake up and no longer have to deal with life with a colostomy bag attached to me.

I’m excited about launching a second blog (yup, it’s been in the plans for a few months now but still needs a whole lot of tweaking) so watch this space. I’m excited about my birthday in January, not only do I get to celebrate my 33rd year in this world but friends are getting married on my actual birthday and I can’t wait to celebrate their big day with them. It’s going to be incredible.

Yes, this year was a mix of happy and sad. A celebration and perhaps the scariest year in quite a few people’s lives. It wasn’t an easy year but it was a beautiful year as well. So much happened in this year that I’m just thankful for. I’m really looking forward to New Years eve when I can make a toast to the next year. A year of big plans and great expectations. A year of new beginnings and fresh starts. A year like no other. If there is one thing I’ve learnt this year, it’s to always keep your spirits up and just be true to yourself. When bad things happen, they hurt but the pain gets easier over time and before you know it, something wonderful has happened.

[bctt tweet=”Think positive and positive things will happen “]

Always stay positive and live unapologetically.

Jonelle | Tyranny of Pink

 

Filed Under: Being an Ostomate, Being Resilient, Being You, Blogging, Death & Grief, Mental Well-Being Tagged With: coping with grief, end of the year, following your dreams, life choices, life purpose, looking back at the year, looking forward to next year, nearly Christmas, things to be grateful for

Previous Post: « Going away for one weekend without your children does not make you a bad parent
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Rica@ Yoga Mat Monkey says

    17th December 2015 at 9:16 pm

    Wow, a lot has happened in one year! Amen to the statement that blogging is damn hard work, and people will always underestimate our efforts. I am sorry for your loses, but it looks as though you’re doing a fine job of persevering. Thanks for sharing your contagious optimism. 🙂

    • TyrannyofPink says

      18th December 2015 at 8:50 am

      Thanks so much Rica <3 It has been such a crazy whirlwind of a year but I even surprised myself with how optimistic I am about everything! I think if you can get through times like these, you can do anything! xoxo

  2. Elizabeth Jay says

    16th December 2015 at 10:25 pm

    Hello again Jonelle! I’m really glad I found you. I love your main theme (is it?!) of encouraging people to live unapologetically. I’ve noticed that my readers seem to most like posts in which I’ve been quite open. I think we crave real, don’t we?
    It sounds like you’ve had quite a year, but it’s clear that you are choosing to grow through everything you face. Thanks for writing your thoughts. Hugs re your grandfather.
    Intrigued by the fact that you are starting a second blog. I’ll be watching this space!
    Blessings to you and your family. 🙂

    • TyrannyofPink says

      17th December 2015 at 12:21 pm

      Hello Elizabeth, it’s always so nice to have you visit my blog! Yes, that’s what my main theme is but also to find the positive in every situation. I honestly never knew one day I’d be such a positive person but it feels good to be so appreciative of life! I think readers enjoy honest posts because there is so much of the same stuff out there that when people publicly voice their opinions on things that aren’t normally spoken of, it’s really appreciated. Or at least that’s how I feel.

      So excited to have one person looking forward to my new blog. Also means I better get myself into gear then hehe

      Happy Holidays to you and your family
      <3

  3. SJ says

    16th December 2015 at 1:58 pm

    Jonelle, I really liked your post. I’m glad in the end everything went well this year.
    I have launched my blog about a month ago, I hope that in a year I can manage it as well as you do. I still have many things to learn!

    SJ simplyconversing.worpdress.com

    • TyrannyofPink says

      16th December 2015 at 3:42 pm

      Thank you so much! Just keep at it and your blog will be a big success 🙂 I’m still working towards making my dreams come true. Thank you very much for visiting my blog 🙂

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Hi, I’m Jonelle

I write things, I make art, I like good food, wine, a whisky after a rough day and I’m always up for a new adventure. I believe we can all contribute to a better world and we should do it while living authentically. I answer to “mommy,” live in Wellington New Zealand with my family and work for Local Goverment. Welcome to my blog…

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