To everything there is a season
To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal …
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance …
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.
ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Coping with the end of friendship
When you’re young and naive, you make a friend and you exchange friendship rings and you truly believe you’re going to be best friends forever. You’re going to be best friends till the day you die.
But then you get older and you grow apart or one of you moves and suddenly your BBF’s comes to an end. You stop calling each other and you stop missing each other so much and you move on with your lives.
You meet a new friend and the process repeats itself.
When you’re young this process is simple and easy to handle. It’s just part of growing up but the older you get, the harder it becomes to let go of friendship.
You’ve invested so much of your time and your heart and you struggle to let go.
I think this is where going to international schools has helped me. I’ve never seen friendships as something that last forever. I just knew that at some point, their expat parents will move on.
Perhaps they will move to a different job in a different country or perhaps the year will end and they will move back home. Either way, our friendship was born with an expiry date on it.
I’ve learnt over the years to come to expect the end. The inevitable end.
It just always seemed normal to me.
We grow and we change and our needs change.
Our lives change direction and that’s okay.
Sure, like everyone else, I look back with fond memories and I have days when I miss them but I understand that it’s just a part of life.
A part of living is learning to let go, even of the things we love.
In the end, nothing really lasts forever!
To everything there is a season…
Sometimes, you just have to accept that not all friendships last forever, some are meant to serve a particular purpose and when that has happened, you have to let go.
Sometimes, living authentically means you’ve got to do what’s best for you – even when that means letting go!
It doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it just is what it is.
Don’t let yourself feel guilty, just accept it for what it is, and learn to let go.
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I can relate with this so much. Lost my childhood friend and I still dream of her often. But I had to make a decision to move on otherwise I would have to deal with constant pain of having that friend in my life but it I still care for her so much. So hard. Recently lost another close friend and I have realised that having friends doesn’t mean they will be there for you forever and you have to accept that and move on. We all have to make choices in life especially when that friendship is no longer healthy for you
I’m sorry you’ve had this experience. I had the same with my childhood best friend. We were at different places in our lives and discovered that we actually don’t get on at all. Letting go is hard! But it opens the space for something new! xoxo
I love this post because I know the reality of it. I’ve lost too many friends that I thought would be in my life forever. Even an eight year friendship of mine ended like it was nothing, Great job on this post – this needed to be said,
Thanks Abygale! It’s so hard losing friends but I think we grow apart and it just makes sense that our friendships won’t last forever. It’s never nice when a friendship ends but it really helps to look at why the friendship no longer serves us. Thanks for your lovely comment!