I’ve always been really good at handling stress. Honestly, I make to-do lists and I smash them like a boss. Lately, though, it’s something else. These last few days, I’m just overwhelmed.
I swear, no amount of to-do lists, checklists or planning ahead can prepare you for when your child gets sick!
I don’t mean a little sniffle, I mean waking up to your child completely covered in vomit type sick!
Being mom to a toddler comes with a full set of challenges
Yup. It’s a whole new ballgame.
Almost two weeks ago, my husband was taking Oden to school when he threw up all over himself, his car seat and our car. Obviously Oden had to come back home as he was definitely in no shape to go to school.
That night he woke us up with his crying. He had thrown up all over himself and his cot.
We took him to the doctor to get checked and she told us to give him various things to help him stay hydrated and get through it. A few days later he was good as new.
And then he wasn’t again.
We are now on round THREE of the worst tummy bug ever. You never know how bad it can be until you’re a parent and you’re cleaning up the mess a small child is capable of making while sick.
Never mind the overwhelm you feel as a parent. I’m no stranger to mom guilt but it never ends. Constantly shape shifting.
Helpless. Doing your best to take care of your child and get work done which you now have to squeeze into the one hour that they take a nap. Two if you’re lucky.
You still have the same commitments but you’re a mum and your child is sick so now you’re forced to make do with getting everything done in a fraction of the time.
To say I’m feeling overwhelmed with my life is a bit of an understatement.
Everything is crazy and the other day, I fell apart. Completely apart.
Oden was crying over everything (he hardly ever cries), his tummy was obviously hurting him, he was hungry but didn’t want to eat crackers and dry bread or drink black tea.
He was acting out and throwing things everywhere and eventually, I just cracked.
I held him while he cried and I cried and he cried louder and I cried louder and then he stopped crying, confused and just looked at me.
I don’t like crying in front of my child.
I don’t want him to carry the burdens of my life but in that moment, I just couldn’t anymore. I just had no idea what to do to make him feel better and it made me feel like a completely useless mother.
Of course I know now that this whole experience didn’t make me a bad mother but I had no idea what to do and I felt so alone and so incredibly useless and in that moment it just drowned me in despair.
He’s still sick. We are still taking care of him but I’m not even going to lie, my son being this sick for the first time has been absolutely terrifying for me and it has shown me just how unprepared being a mother feels.
No matter how many lists you make and preparations you take, there’s still going to be that moment when you feel like you don’t know what the hell you’re doing and everything feels awful.
Being a mom just kinda comes with this stuff though doesn’t it?
Not knowing how to make your child feel better, wishing you could take their suffering away from them but instead just watching helplessly while you wait for their treatment to work.
I think feeling overwhelmed is just part of the role sometimes and even more so when your child is sick and you are powerless.
Everyone warned me about school germs but boy oh boy was I unprepared!
I should have made a list of things to expect when my child starts school and reasons why I will feel awful but that won’t mean I’m a bad mum. I should have been prepared to be more unprepared than I’ve ever been. Being a mom is freaking tough!
Yup, now I know better for next time don’t I? 🙂
How do you manage not to fall apart with mom overwhelm?