When you feel like you just can’t right now…

Life is exhausting. Honestly it is. It’s one of those things that you can’t avoid, because you know, it’s life. It just is what it is but sometimes, what it is, is freaking hard and leaves you exhausted. Right now, for me, the cause of my exhaustion is my son who had been sick for last few days.

My mama heart breaks seeing him struggling and listening to his laboured breathing. We sit up with him in the night and rush off to the doctor when it seems like things should be getting better but they aren’t.

The first part of my mind that shuts down is the logical and rational one. Suddenly everything is urgent and I can’t process things calmly.

So instead, I call my mom in a panic with tears streaming down my face because I’m so overwhelmed. Instead of offering comfort it leads me down another path, filled with doubts about being too far from my mom…What if when I’m in New Zealand I need her and she’s all the way over here. Yet another thing to add to my constant inner battle.

And the consequence is that I’m too tired to write, too tired to think, too tired to be creative and see value in what I have to offer the world. So I spiral off into some weird little space where I doubt my purpose and my skills and myself in general…Yes, being a mother is hard. Being human is harder. Living this thing we call life, is… interesting.

You’ve got to put on a brave smile and act like you’re brave if you’re get through it.

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Brené Brown

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.  Do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what. – Atticus Finch”

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”  Nora Ephron

[bctt tweet=”Courage, dear heart! ” username=”tyrannyofpink”]