Living with depression | It’s not always rational
My heart is so sad right now. I know when you struggle with depression, this is normal. I know I will never be the kind of person who doesn’t go through phases of sadness. Even when my life is completely A-Okay, I still get into these bouts of depression.
I still feel so down and often, I have absolutely no idea why. Depression and mental health aren’t related to what’s actually going on. It’s often completely uncontrollable.
Sometimes I can pin point what’s making me feel this way. Some times I can’t. Often, I will realise after a few days of feeling down what it might be related to, often it’s because I miss my dad. The irony is that, that usually happens when my life is going really well and I can’t help but feel sad that my dad isn’t around to see this part of my life. In fact, my life right now is really awesome. I have great friends, a job I love, my family is happy and yet still, the feelings creep in.
I’ve been trying to write a blog post for the last week.
I sit down, open up my laptop and then there are no words. Nothing. I don’t have any life changing advice, I don’t have any interesting stories that I want to share, nothing. Instead, just heaviness on my heart.
Depression is not always something you can understand but what matters is being kind to yourself. Taking the time to understand why this happens and how to deal with it when it does happen.
We don’t all cope in the same way. When it happens to me, I let the feelings be, try to understand them and make sure I get out my house because otherwise it just escalates.
So anyway, guess this is just me explaining why I’ve been so quiet around here. It’s a little hard to find words when your heart feels broken.
Be kind to yourself, that’s all I can say!
“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.
Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.”
― Stephen Fry