I’ve been pregnant for just over 7 months (the LONGEST 7 months of my life). In that time I’ve discovered a few things about other people, about myself and about my little guy. Some of them good, some of them bad. Some of them funny, some incredible and beautiful and some of them just plain meh…here you go. Form your own opinions…
What I’ve discovered during the longest 30 weeks of my life
1. People will stop caring that you are still a person.
I can’t remember the last time someone opened a conversation with me that did not start with “how’s the baby?” I tell you it’s nice that they care so much about my baby but I would just once like to be asked how I’m doing as well and not in the context of how are things going with my pregnancy. Just you know, normal stuff about the rest of my life. Oh and as much as I’d LOVE to know, I have no idea WHAT the baby is up to in there. Just so you know. Growing?
2. Random people will ask you completely inappropriate questions.
Was the baby planned for? Did you struggle to get pregnant? How long have you been trying? Did you always want children? Now these may SEEM innocent but what you’re asking me is if I’m responsible and actually wanted the baby I’m about to have (for the record yes he was bloody well planned). I think the children question is pretty personal too because while people are often asking you about your desire to procreate and reproduce, they’re also waiting to jump in and tell you just how wonderful it is having a child. This leads me to another favourite question.
3. Do we know the sex?
Yes. We do – it’s a boy. Okay no issues with this one until it’s followed up with statements like this one;
4. “Well the next one will hopefully be a girl.”
Okay firstly – there’s no rule that says that when I’m pregnant with my first child I must immediately start planning the next one. As if one isn’t enough. I’m terrified of this one as it is thank you very much. Secondly, we then often explain that actually it will definitely be a girl because we are adopting IF we have another one. The reaction to this is immediate. SHOCK and HORROR. Then we are asked further questions such as..
5. Wouldn’t we rather have a “child of our own?”
The answer to this seems pretty obvious, we are about to give birth to our biological child and yet we are obviously in favour of adopting our second child on account of the fact that oh I don’t know – we just told you we are going to do just that. Next.
6. But you just don’t know what you’ll get?
“There are so many issues with children that you didn’t produce.” Hmm, yes. And ones that we did too no doubt. Thanks for that. At this point we are often informed that we are “brave” and that they “wouldn’t have the guts to do it.”
I once even had a story told to me about a woman who adopted FIVE children and they were such a disappointment to her that she “gave them all back” – for the record, this says more about HER than her five returned-for-the-deposit children!
Okay, thanks for that! Moving on.
7. Peeing
Seriously. I always knew that pregnant women have to pee but holy mother of May it’s like I need to pee every ten minutes! Including in the middle of the night – several times. As if not sleeping and not being able to get into a comfortable position in the first place isn’t suffering enough.
8. When the baby moves and kicks it’s AWESOME – (oh look a happy point!)
I mean really mind-blowing awesome. Sometimes I am so completely blown away that my little person is moving that I can’t do much more than just sit and experience the moment. It’s beautiful. It’s maybe not as beautiful when I wake up at 3am to go pee and then he decides it’s time to play and I have to lie awake for at least an hour because he’s too busy to let me sleep.
9. This also makes you realise that he really is a little person already
With preferences. For example, he REALLY likes chocolate. The most common reaction is “oh it’s the sugar.” No. It’s not. I can eat dessert/pudding or drink coke and he does not react like he does when I eat chocolate. This little goose just loves chocolate so damn much.
He also loves lying in the same position. Usually that means that all his kicks are directed at one side of my belly. I’m pretty sure that the right side of my stomach now has thinner lining than everywhere else.
10. What no touching?
This one is more about my surprise than anything else. Everyone has told me that when I’m pregnant, random people will touch my belly. Okay so my resting bitch face has obviously been fully confirmed because not one single stranger has walked up to me and rubbed my belly. I think I must give off come near me and I’ll kill you vibes because I’m constantly waiting for it to happen and nope, nothing. The closest I’ve come is a waiter telling me I’m really blessed with a baby and another asking me if I’d like a shot of whiskey with my soda while chuckling to himself a little weirdly. If only he knew just how much I need that right now. Sigh – at the exact moment when it’s off the cards.
This whole pregnancy thing isn’t for everyone
Being pregnant hasn’t been about sparkles and roses for me and honestly, I’m a little bit wary of anyone who says that they “loved” being pregnant.
[bctt tweet=”Pregnancy really just isn’t for everyone! “]
It’s a bit of a weird thing to love. Sure there are beautiful moments and it’s truly amazing to feel your baby growing and moving inside of you but on the whole, it’s a pretty traumatic time for your body. Some days I’m surprised that the baby doesn’t just fall straight out because the pressure is so intense. I can’t sleep, I’ve grown to astronomical sizes and no matter how many times my husband tells me that I’m not fat, I’m pregnant, I still feel like a large hippo rolling around the house.
I honestly didn’t realise that getting off the bed could be so much work or that drying my legs properly after a shower would be a thing of the past. I’m hormonal, emotional, nervous, stressed and haven’t slept through the night in months.
One thing though, I am just letting myself eat the things my body craves and that has been pretty great for me. I don’t normally have a sweet tooth and it’s a nice feeling to just eat cheesecake for the hell of it when ever I want to but one thing I know for certain – pregnancy is just not for me.
So the next time you bump into your pregnant friend, try asking how SHE is doing!
Did you suddenly start craving ridiculous thing? Ice cream when you’re lactose intolerant anyone? (yes, that really happened to me). What was your experience of pregnancy? Were you as much of a grump as I am about it? Tell me I’m not alone!!
all my love, the pregnant grump 
You look super cute though. 😛 Someone told me yesterday that I look like a balloon that is about to POP! Can you believe that?! 😮
Okay just found it in my silly spam folder!! Oh thanks lovely – you are too kind 🙂
Oh my gosh I would have growled at them! What did you say? I’m still not getting ANY belly touching. Bliss!
HIGH FIVE. I loved this post! When I was pregnant with my daughter there were definitely things about being pregnant that I enjoyed–like her kicking and moving around–but as a whole, it wasn’t something that I loved. It’s not easy being pregnant, and even though it’s this amazing natural experience (when people say stuff like that that’s pretty much the point when my eyes start to glaze over), it’s HARD.
One thing that I thought was pretty cool though–the way your son is moving now and the positions he likes to rest in, you’ll see him doing a lot of the same things when he’s born. My daughter used to sit with her bum facing outward, and for the longest time as a newborn, she’d wiggle herself into that same position. Pretty cute.
Thank you Natalia! I LOVE that women are commenting on this post and saying YES – it’s okay to not enjoy all of it because it’s damn hard work growing a human being and for so long it’s just the expected thing that we have it easy. It is NOT easy to not be able to reach your toes anymore hehe
I can’t wait to meet him in person. I already know he’s going to be a little busy bee and if he is like he is in my tummy then I can expect to never sleep hehe… and he also pushes his little bum so far forward that I’m scared he’s going to pop out the front – so that’s something to look out for. A bum in the air all the time!!
Thanks for your comment. Definitely going to keep this in mind!
xx
I really enjoyed being pregnant the first time but this time has been very different!! Being pregnant with a toddler is tough but then I found out I had placenta previa and 4 bleeds later ended up in hospital. We are having a c section next week, we will be 37 weeks. Sacrifice really does begin at conception! Best of luck for the rest of your pregnancy and I hope your birth is calm and empowering. X
Wow Ruth, I’ve had a fairly straight forward pregnancy so I can only imagine how much stress you must be under. It’s hard enough coping without all the added strain.
I hope everything goes well for the last few days and that the C-Section runs smoothly.
You’ll be meeting your little one so soon!!
SO exciting.
xx
Thank you. I’m much more calm in hospital! Counting down the days 🙂 x
Yes I’m sure that it’s very reassuring to have all the Drs and nurses around <3
So happy you are being honest about your experiences! back in the day when I had mine (I’m a grandmama now!) It was only allowed to be cupcakes and butterflies- all wonderful and happy. But I was miserable too. I was excited, don’t get me wrong and I loved feeling them move (I birthed 3, adopted #4) and as happy I was when they were born, nobody prepared me for the empty feeling I had after birth. They weren’t next to me anymore, you know? I felt terribly guilty for that! Funny story- I was due with my second at the end of July and it was sooooo hot that year! I bought one of those little pools for the yard for my 5 year old and I would sit in it with him just to try and get cool. My ex- husband came home early one day and said, “why are trying to get a tan when you are 8 months pregnant?” Joking I said back to him, “Oh, having a tan makes you look more slim”. His answer? “Honey you can’t get dark enough for that”!! Can you believe that? One of the many reasons he is my ex!!!. Just tell yourself, millions of women have down this- even since the beginning of time- I can do this too!
Oh my gosh! Yes, I can TOTALLY understand why he’s your ex-husband now. What a jack ass. My mom was also pregnant in summer and she keeps telling me how grateful I should be to not experience that suffering. I would also lie around in one of those kids pools “getting slimmer” so high five to you!
A friend who recently had a baby also told me that she still hadn’t processed that empty feeling and struggled to see her baby as the thing that was previously in her belly – I don’t know if that makes sense how I’m putting it – but that the disconnect was just so sudden and hard to accept.
Thanks for sharing you story. It has helped me tremendously to know that I’m not alone because it really does still feel like people judge you for not getting right what women have been doing for centuries!
And you’re right – I can do this! Thank you <3
I’m sorry pregnancy isn’t agreeing with you so well. I enjoyed being pregnant, now having a toddler and a preschooler, I’m starting to questions my sanity though!
Thank you Steph – It’s great that you enjoyed it. I really wish it had been more of a good experience for me but it is what it is 🙂
Only two months to go!
haha my best friend said the same – she said “I loved being pregnant, it was way easier than having a toddler”
This is so me. I love my boy but being pregnant was the most stressful experience ever. I cried for biltong for two whole, my poor brother in law had to go out and get some. I loved savory things so so much. Eggs not so much. So cool to know I wasn’t the only one.
The sad thing is a lot of other Mothers made me feel horrible for not enjoying my pregnancy so I ended up feeling alone most of the time. My sister came to my rescue and for that I will always be grateful
SO many people lay the guilt on you for not being “the perfect mother” but I don’t think that’s the sign of a good mom. Just an honest one!
xx
I will have to get some. 🙂 I have been pregnant 3 times and I can’t say I had much love for any of the 3 times.
I was practically pregnant for two years (sons should be 3 and 2 now) and am not running to sign up for that again 🙂 with my difficult pregnancies I couldn’t burp without freaking out so was pretty glad when it was over…loved your post
Thanks Ella, that sounds like FOREVER to me… My gran had 6 kids all within a year of each other. She was pregnant for 8 years in total (she lost two sets of twins) and I really respect women who can do that because it’s really no easy task hey.
I suppose it makes you stronger but shooo it’s really unfair that I can’t drink wine to help me cope 😛
xx
I know how u feel in a way my kids are 4 and 5 they 15months apart was breast feeding the one wile pregnant with the other and just carried on
Im holding thumbs for u and wish u luck for the last bit as its hell and it gets worse sorry lol wen baby moves in to ur birth canal u cant walk sit or even pee properly as i said i hated it for sure
Lol I keep saying to my husband – surely this pressure can’t be normal? I already feel like his head is going to just pop out any second so I can only imagine. Thanks, I need the luck <3
Belly-touching is the worst! And no one is going to ask about you ever again, I’m afraid. From now on, Baby is centre stage. (On the plus side, there’ll always be something to talk about – even though not everyone might be keen to discuss poop, and sleep, and burping.)
hahah Melanie, you give me SO much to look forward to!
lol I’m going to discuss pooping and burping with all the non mom’s who have ever asked me inappropriate questions.. I’m even going to take photos so that I can illustrate my conversation *insert evil laughter here*
xx
I so hated it, it was terrible the only part i liked was the movement in my tummy and only the begining of tht to after that the kicks hurt everytime he even tour a ligament in my side thought i was dieing and doctor just tells me calmly its normal tht happens sometimes. He had a habbit of sitting with his bum right up under my ribs then i physically push him down so i can breath easy again and ag not five min later his right back up there again and that lasted a hole month and that was the better of the experiences lets not go on as i could write an intire 50 note here for u but think i made my point. Im so glad im not lone felt afaul about it thay if someone asks i just said fine thnks for this post its great
Thanks Shantelle, I think it’s SO helpful to know that there are others who are going through the same thing. I also have days when even the kicking becomes too much because my baby kicks on the same spot over and over and I feel like there’s no lining on my tummy inside on that spot. He also pushes his bum so far forward and then when I try push him down it presses down on my bladder and I think oh my I’m going to wee myself now! Thanks for sharing your experiences with me. It really does help to know that it’s normal and that I really am not crazy for feeling like this! xxx
Ur not crazy but thankfully gone through 2 pregnancies and long behind me everyone says u remember the good of the pregnancy i cant agree lol, i have to say i loved the birth itself so would do it all over again just to have those few minutes over again nothing like it best memory ever
The actual birth? Okay that’s the part I’m dreading the most… eek it scares me soooooo much! lol You are a braver woman than me. Once is definitely enough for me!!!
I had normal birth so that waking up in the middle of the night the excitement and anticipations and the relief of it being over finally and the first time u hold ur baby its magic no feelings can describe it or compare at all, and in that moment it will all be worth it
Yes, okay that does sound very special! I’ll let you know in two weeks and three days if my experience is like this 😛
I love love love your post, tickled me because a lot of it rang very true for me. Just for the record though whatever color you have on your nails though is awesome! See I said nothing about your gorgeous baby bump! 🙂
I’m SO glad I’m not alone – oh gosh does being happy about sharing misery make me a bad person hehe I can live with that 😛
Lol, now you’re making me chuckle – thank you… it’s District-ly come dancing by Rimmel – I can’t reach my toes so I have to keep my nails looking pretty to make myself feel better 🙂