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You are here: Home / Reflections on Life / Being Resilient / Being an Ostomate / The beauty behind the scars – Confessions post surgery

The beauty behind the scars – Confessions post surgery

26th February 2019 By Jonelle

I looked in the mirror and I saw my scars – left behind from all my surgeries and my brush with death.

It’s funny how something as ugly as a scar can be a beautiful reminder of the second chance you’ve been given at living!

It makes you more aware of all the things you take for granted, all the fleeting moments that suddenly, you’re so thankful for.

It changes what you value and what you’re prepared to accept and tolerate. It makes you aware of how much life we waste and how little time we actually have.

It changes you… Not the scar itself, but the reason that scar found a way to your body. The way it got there, the journey. Changes you!

Over the course of the last three years, people have responded differently to my scars. Sympathetic, judgemental, unkind, supportive… I’ve heard it all.

A doctor I met for a medical to get my visa’s to come to New Zealand looked at me and said “oh you must want to hide these scars all the time” and I didn’t even know how to react at first. Eventually, when the breath found its way back into my lungs I said, well, actually I’m not ashamed of them they remind me that I lived. She changed the subject.

Someone else suggested that “since you love tattoos so much why don’t you cover them up” and the answer is simple – I don’t use tattoos to cover up the things I want to hide. My tattoos are a part of me – a part of me I wear with pride, ironically, just like my scars.

You see, I am not ashamed of the scars on my body. They aren’t ugly to me. They are beautiful reminders of the time I almost died, but didn’t.

My scars remind me of every minute of life I’m living that I almost missed out on.

I watch my son play and I am thankful that I get to know him, this beautiful child who is independent and carefree and couldn’t give two hoots about what you think of him wearing one of each of different sneakers. Intentional, so he can have batman and spiderman on his feet at once. This child of mine who is changing and growing and making me laugh and I get to be here and see this.

These scars remind me of the fight I gave to be here. To live. To remain alive.

These scars say I did not back down when death came knocking.

These scars remind me I am a warrior – a fighter – a survivor.

Death tried to take me and I fought that battle and I won.

So not, I’m not ashamed. No I don’t want to cover them up with a tattoo. No, I won’t hide them from anyone. These scars are my trophies.

Thankful for the 3 years I’ve lived since it all started for me.

Three magical years of being a mother, a wife, a friend, a daughter… and so much more that I nearly missed out on. Grateful.

Filed Under: Being an Ostomate, Being Resilient, Blog, Life, Reflections on Life, Self-Confidence, That time I nearly died Tagged With: ostomy surgery, pride, proud, reversal surgery, scars, survivor

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  1. Bonnie says

    26th February 2019 at 5:03 pm

    Beautiful scars indeed. I love them too. Thankful for the surgeries that saved your life and kept you here. Love you xoxo

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Hello, I’m Jonelle and this is my story.

Wow! This was a moment. Turning 40 when I almost d Wow! This was a moment.
Turning 40 when I almost didn’t live past 32. 
Grateful for every day of every year since then! 
Life is so precious and life is everything you make it. 

Thankful for all the opportunities I’ve had along the way. Thankful for all the people I’ve met and the leaps I’ve taken! 

Grateful to live where we do. 
Grateful for my family and friends. 
Grateful to live comfortably and never have to worry about being without. Such privilege in a world with so much struggle. 

Thankful for my pets who drive me nuts and love me endlessly. 

I’m looking forward to the next decade. Stepping more into myself and knowing who I am and what my boundaries are. The things I will not tolerate or accept. 

Just grateful for my life. 
The end. #HBD to me!
Woop Woop
Saturday pre birthday party vibes… Saturday pre birthday party vibes…
Lazy Saturday mornings ❤️ Lazy Saturday mornings ❤️
Unemployment is working for me! #Relaxed Unemployment is working for me! #Relaxed
Oden ❤️ Oden ❤️
Making the most of being #funemployed 😆#welling Making the most of being #funemployed 😆#wellingtonnz
Take me back… summer sun and ocean swims #newcal Take me back… summer sun and ocean swims #newcaledonia

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